Releasing Investment Shame

[00:00:00] Jamie Berman: Today I want to talk about letting go of investment shame because this is something that I see blocking so many entrepreneurs from moving forward and making the kind of money that they want to. So what is investment shame? Investment shame is when you are beating yourself up because you’re not further along because you’ve invested so much in your business.

right? Maybe you’ve invested in a lot of different things and you’re really not seeing the return that you’d hoped for and the time you’ve hoped, right? So maybe you have this expectation that you would be in a different place than you are now. And because you’re not there, you’re just being so hard on yourself and experiencing so much shame around the amount of money that you’ve spent.

And I say this because I see it a lot with entrepreneurs. I had the same experience and I really [00:01:00] had to work through it in order to start creating more money. So I want to release this energetic block once and for all. I want to support you in doing that and really help you see it from a new lens, from a perspective that I think is just so much more helpful.

And I know where this comes from, at least in the coaching industry. I don’t know if this is for every single like coaching program out there, but I know within the world that I was in, there was this kind of unwritten expectation that once you invest in your coaching certification, you should make a hundred thousand dollars within your first year.

And that was something that so many of us were shooting for, including myself, right? Wanted to make a hundred thousand dollars. And it’s like,

And it’s like, of [00:02:00] course, anything is possible 100%, but it’s actually very, very rare to start a business and make 100, 000 within your first year. Now, do some people do it? Yes, 100%. They do. There are definitely examples of people who do this or go far beyond 100, 000. But after working with so many entrepreneurs and so many coaches, what I’ve seen is that the people who do it quickly tend to already have a foundation set or have some kind of experience with business and with, you know, transactions and making offers and all of that kind of stuff, right?

All that kind of foundational stuff that we need to learn in order to create a sustainable business. And of course, there’s always the odd ones out and ones that do it. But here’s the thing, is that it isn’t the majority, and that’s [00:03:00] totally okay. It’s actually okay to have an evolution. To, you know, have things to learn in the beginning before you get going.

That’s actually the norm. And in fact, in manifestation, one of the things that isn’t talked about a lot, but I love it as a universal law. Is the law of gestation, right? And I actually learned this from Bob Proctor, who is an OG manifestation teacher. And he says, The universal law of gestation states that every process needs to go through a period of time during which it is conceptualized and actualized.

Right? And this is kind of like the becoming process that I talk about. It’s like becoming the person who makes 100, 000 or who has this successful business. We really do have to go through a becoming process. And that’s [00:04:00] normal. And that’s okay. And I had to go through this, right? So I know it’s easy to see all of these successful people and it seems like they were a, you know, just an overnight success.

But as you hear so often, it’s like, no, I was an overnight success 10 years in the making, right? So I want to normalize that and make it totally okay. Right? Because this is actually why in my soulful like manifestation foundations, I talk about enjoying the journey and really not making there so much better than here.

Like not thinking that once you reach X, Y, or Z, you’re going to be so much happier in life. It’s going to be so much better. Because the truth is we’re always growing. We’re always evolving, we’re always going to be in the becoming phase, but of the next evolution of ourselves. But when we’re in a rush and we think it should have happened [00:05:00] faster, what we end up doing is energetically blocking ourselves and making things happen slower.

So we want to stop doing that. All right. And I want to normalize the fact that in order to create. a sustainable business that really gets your clients results or gets you happy customers. We really do have to build a foundation. We have to invest time, energy, resources, money into that business in the beginning and throughout the entire.

You have to build and maintain that solid foundation, right? So in the beginning, you are probably going to have to invest in mastering your craft. Mastering whatever it is that your business is offering, right? You have to put some time into [00:06:00] mastery. Maybe you have to invest some money into mastering and learn in order to become the master that people want to…

And then on top of that, you have to learn sales. You have to learn marketing. You have to give your audience some time to grow. You got to give yourself some time to really, um, be able to communicate your messaging and feel comfortable putting yourself out there. Right? Like this is a solid foundation that every business needs in order to grow into a successful business.

And I think for so many people, they feel like if this doesn’t happen overnight, there’s something wrong with me, but it’s really not the case. So I just want to normalize that it is okay if it takes your business some time to get off the ground, right? And I’m gonna give you some ideas and some advice to make that happen.

Smoother and easier, [00:07:00] of course, but I want to kind of break down for you all what I invested in before my business started to grow and why I took on this investment shame and how I was able to release it, how I started seeing from a new lens that really helped me. So first of all, I’m just going to break down numbers.

You know how much money I invested? I invested in my business before I made money. Well, I might have made a little, little bit of money. I might have made like 7, 000. This was like before my first year. I made like 7, 000, but I had invested up until then 62, 000. Let me say that again. I invested 62, 000. And I will break it down for you.

The first thing that I did, because initially I thought I wanted to get into health and nutrition and I wanted to work with women with like hormonal, you know, issues and PCOS, which was [00:08:00] actually my first, um, like my first coaching business was that, but before I even knew about coaching, I wanted to become a certified nutritionist.

So I was going back to college and Really, really did not like it. I was like, I do not like chemistry, biology, all of these science classes and all of these foundations that I have to learn and it’s going to take me six years to basically get the degree and get my master’s. And that’s when actually I discovered health coaching and I was like, Ooh, this looks amazing because I love psychology.

I love mindset. stuff. And of course, I want to work in nutrition at the time. That’s what I thought I wanted, right? So I invested in my very first certification, which was a health coaching certification, and that was 5, 000, right? And I went all in on that. It took an entire year to get through that program.

And then from there, I knew I don’t know how to get clients. Like it didn’t have any business building [00:09:00] along with it. It just taught a lot of different, um, you know, health and lifestyle and nutrition things, right? Concepts. And so I learned all of that, but I’m like, I don’t know how to build a business. I don’t know how to get clients.

So that’s when I actually invested in my first mastermind. And my first mastermind was 18, 000. And that was a, about a nine month mastermind, and I didn’t make any money. I didn’t get any clients. I realized, looking back in hindsight, it was a little before I was ready. I was so afraid of putting myself out there.

I was afraid of being seen. I was actually in so much shame around my own body. stuff that I just wasn’t willing to put myself out there. But I thought, well, if I invest in a mastermind, I should be able to get results, but I didn’t. And I felt. I was so ashamed and upset and hard on myself, but I knew I wanted to keep going.

I knew I wanted to keep [00:10:00] going. So I then invested in the University of Santa Monica, where I decided to go back to school and study spiritual psychology. Because I knew I had some inner work to do that was what the mastermind helped to reveal was There’s some worthiness stuff There are definitely some things and some opportunities for healing that I need to dive into So I really did that both as a personal development course, an opportunity for me to deepen both on a soul level spiritually and just like uplevel my mindset.

So I went on that journey, but I also wanted it to help me in my business. Right. And I didn’t end up making any money. I was still, you know, I had another job. I had to because my coaching business was just not taking off at that time. I did so much soul work, but [00:11:00] I really wasn’t seeing a return yet. And that’s when I actually found the life coach school, which is where I got certified as a life coach.

And I really, really resonated with the messaging. I learned the thought model, which was really, really helpful. And I decided I wanted to get certified as a general life coach and a weight loss coach. And was it scary to do that? Yes, I had already invested all of this money, right? And this was an 18, 000 investment.

But it was one of those things where I just knew I, this was my calling. I knew it was what I wanted to do with my life. So I invested in that and I went all in and I got the certification and I went through the entrepreneurial track and did absolutely everything to learn how to build my business and start running ads and all of that kind of stuff.

stuff. And I really just went through it. And then [00:12:00] on top of that, I was like, I need to learn sales. So I did a 2, 000 program that taught me about sales. So that really comes to 62, 000 before I really. started making money, right? That’s a lot of money. And I’m not saying you have to spend 62, 000 on yourself in order to create a solid foundation for your business.

But that was my journey. And I will tell you what, I had a lot of shame around it. I really. hated that I spent so much money and wasn’t making the return yet. And that was at that point where right after I got certified, I really did realize I really think I need to address my relationship with money because I have gotten all of these certifications.

I have learned sales. I have learned, you know, I mean, I went through a whole entire mastermind to learn business and I’m like, I’m not making any money. And that was when I knew I really [00:13:00] needed to work on my relationship with money. And then it took me Investing in the next thing, which I invested in before I was making money, but I just knew I wanted a coach to help me with my relationship with money.

And I really wanted somebody to help me move forward in my business. And so. I spent another $8,000 and that was the $8,000 that I had sold my car, right? I sold my car for $8,000 to invest in that coach. ’cause I had already spent $62,000 prior to that from savings from my husband helping me out from all of the money that I was making in my job as a makeup artist.

I just kept putting money into my business and I didn’t give up. I would just ask myself, what is the next thing that I really need to learn in order to grow this business? And I just courageously took action on it. And I will tell you what, it took [00:14:00] a lot of belief in myself because here’s the thing. I knew that I wanted to have a big, successful business making six figures or more.

As a coach, so, you know, when I started to think about it, I thought about it like this. Well, I was thinking I was almost going to go back to school to become a nutritionist, right? And that would have taken six years of schooling. That would have taken hundreds of thousands of dollars, right? And student loans or me paying for it.

And way more time, way more energy. This was me putting about three years of my life and 62, 000 into learning about business, becoming certified, gaining mastery. I was thinking, if I know that this career is going to be the career that I’m going to do for the next while in my life, at least, and I’m going to be [00:15:00] making multiple six figures doing it, why wouldn’t I invest in this?

Right? Like, the return for me was so much higher than going back to college to become a nutritionist whenever I was looking at the rates. And at that time, it was like, you know, the starting rates were like 42, 000. And that was after going through a, um,

and that was after going through an internship and everything. So I really started thinking about it. And in fact, I have to say, It’s also my husband’s doing that really helped me because I think I had an expectation that I should be making money so much faster and there must be something wrong with me, but he helped.

He just kept.

But he just kept saying, Jamie, it’s gonna happen. [00:16:00] It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna happen. And I know that that came from his past experience. Because he didn’t have that conditioning that you need to make money right away. That you have to make 100, 000 in your first year of your business, otherwise there’s something wrong with you, right?

He actually had… He didn’t have any conditioning around that. His whole conditioning was, I’m just gonna keep going until it happens. So he actually moved out to LA when he was 18 to become a songwriter, and it took him four years of building relationships, writing songs, getting rejected, you know, all kinds of things, going back to college for a week, and then leaving college, like all kinds of things.

 But it was actually my husband [00:17:00] that really helped me with my mindset around this because he didn’t have the conditioning that I was taking on from the coaching industry that you have to be making all this money right away, or there’s something wrong with you.

He actually had this thought, you just keep going. Until you get there and if you’re good, it’s gonna happen and if you really want it You can make it happen and he had had experience with that he moved out to LA when he was 18 to become a songwriter and it took him four years of building relationships Writing hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands of songs and getting rejected over and over and over and over and continuing to keep on going and keep on going and keep on going until finally he had his first hit and he made money.

And it actually probably took him five years till he actually saw the money. From day one until he saw that money [00:18:00] because when you have a song on the radio, you don’t see that money for a year. So it probably, he had to wait probably five years. So he had had that experience of what it takes. What it takes to succeed and what it takes to really create what you want to create and to build a business and really start making money.

He knew you needed a solid foundation and thank goodness for that because he really held my hand through it. He held belief for me whenever I didn’t believe it myself. But really looking back in hindsight, I’m just so, so grateful that I didn’t give up. And at the same time, there was a part of me that would have never given up because I really, really wanted this.

But I’m so glad that I didn’t because looking back at all of those things that I invested in, at the time it seemed like I wasn’t getting a return on my investment. But let me [00:19:00] tell you what, it was three years, it was like two and a half to three years of not making any money and investing quite a bit into my business, but suddenly, once I started making money, It came in and it came in consistently, and I have since then for the past four years made multiple six figures in my business.

Right? And it’s been a business that is amazing and it’s sustainable and it’s solid and it’s built on such a beautiful foundation. Right? And it’s because I was willing to really put in that time. that energy and that money in the beginning to build that foundation. So I just want to normalize building a foundation.

All right. And then now thinking back, I’m like, why do we give other companies and businesses and [00:20:00] careers the grace of having time to build itself up? But we don’t do that for ourselves, right? So I was thinking back, and I was looking, I was thinking about, like, a doctor, right? Another, uh, career that’s making multiple six figures, right?

Or maybe up to a million, I don’t know. It just depends on the doctor. I don’t know a lot about that, but I know that they make pretty good money, right? In this six figures and up. And I was just comparing that, and it’s like, For doctors, it’s totally normal to go to school for eight years and invest in school for eight years.

Plus, do a residency where you’re not getting paid. On top of that, moving somewhere else. Grace, right? Before you make your first time, and it’s normal to have debt from college, right? Because you had to master the craft. You had to really understand [00:21:00] it. And we give that grace for taking 8, 9, 10 years before getting a return on the investment.

But why don’t we do that in business? If we want this amazing, you know, abundant business, why don’t we give ourselves a little bit of grace and a little bit of time to build that foundation and to have that gestation period, that becoming period. If we did give that to ourselves, I think it would make a lot of you entrepreneurs a lot more relaxed with a lot more Less shame, right?

Think about other businesses, right? Amazon. I did a little research. I’m like, how long did it take Amazon to have a return on investment? Do you know how many years it took for Amazon before they actually had a profit in their business? Guess how many years? It took 14 [00:22:00] years before Amazon had a profit at all.

And that was intentional. They knew that they, if they invested heavily in those years, that they would build a solid foundation that was going to absolutely take off. Imagine if at year two, they would have given up because they had this expectation that they should be making money by now. Amazon would not exist, right?

So I think it’s really, really important that we start giving ourselves a little bit more grace if it’s taking more time than we wanted to have a return on our investments in business, right? So I have a little bit of advice for you. If this is you, if you are someone who has invested and hasn’t made the return that you’ve wanted to yet, number one, Don’t make it mean anything about yourself.

You are [00:23:00] simply believing in yourself and building a solid foundation to flourish in. That is all that’s going on, right? You have to hold belief in the vision. Just hold belief and do not make it mean there’s something wrong with you. Number two, I would really encourage you to remember that business is a long game.

Play the long game. Think about Amazon. They played the long game and it has paid off. I played the long game and it has paid off. I invested for years before having a return, but then it started coming in and overflow, right? It was like, Oh, bam, all of a sudden it started coming in. And I know everyone’s business evolution is different and we all start at different points with different foundations already have been, you know, built.

So it’s going to look different for everyone. But if you happen to be [00:24:00] someone like me, Who’s really putting a lot into your business and really mastering it and learning all the skills that you need to learn and if it’s just not there yet, remember, this is the long game and these are the things that you have to learn in order to, you know, get a return.

Number three, I would highly recommend that you work on your money mindset, right? Because I do believe that the reason I didn’t start making money earlier is actually because I had a lot of negative thoughts about money. I was not comfortable with money. That was the last area that I addressed. That’s why I think it took me 62, 000 of investing before I started getting a return.

Because that final investment for me was me getting coached and working on my relationship with money. And that’s when I saw things shift. So it doesn’t have to take 14 years. It doesn’t have to [00:25:00] take two years. It does, you know, you can definitely start getting a return on your business sooner. I’m not saying that you can’t, but what I’m saying is it’s going to really help you to release the shame that you’ve been holding around it.

And you can normalize that this is okay. This is part of the process. This is part of the gestation period. And I highly recommend working on your money mindset because it absolutely matters and it makes a huge difference. And I believe that you’ll start seeing a return sooner if you work on your money mindset and your thoughts about money.

The other thing that I want to, number four, share in terms of advice. for those of you who might be in this boat of having invested in a lot and, you know, haven’t gotten a return is there is no shame in having a side hustle. In fact, you know, that’s something that I wish I had held onto maybe a little bit longer was a [00:26:00] side job because I let go of mine thinking I’m going to go all in on my business, but that just ended up creating a little bit more pressure for me.

And I know it’s different for everyone. Some people like actually thrive on pressure. I don’t. I tend to like get stuck with that. So I mean, if you’re in the place where you’ve been investing in your business and you’re not having the return yet, I recommend getting a side hustle, get a side job. It’s okay to do that and use that as an opportunity to feed your business, right?

And to keep going all in on your business and give yourself the time and space that you need to build that foundation. And last but not least, enjoy the journey. This is… One of my foundations of my manifestation process is learning and really taking on the mindset to enjoy today. Enjoy the journey because there is not better than here.

You [00:27:00] will one day look back at today and you will miss it. You’ll say, man, That was such a fun phase. Like I miss those days whenever I was just, you know, starting out or before I had the client or, you know, whenever I hadn’t been in, you know, I, I didn’t hit these numbers yet. Right. Like, Oh man, those were the days you’re going to look back one day and think those were the days.

Those were the good old days. So let yourself be in the good days now, like let yourself appreciate where you’re at. And enjoy this gestation period. Enjoy this unfolding. Enjoy this evolution. It’s absolutely amazing. And guess what? It’s never going to end because once you get to the next place in your business, hit your next goal.

As humans, we’re always evolving. So you’re just going to have the next one that you want to become. So we have to learn how to. Both become and be [00:28:00] at the same time. Right? Become and enjoy where we are. That’s what I mean. That is such an important skill and mindset to develop that will literally Change your life forever.

If you can learn how to both become and be, be here now and enjoy now, you will be happy. You will be a happy human being. Alright? So that’s what I’ve got for you. And I really wanted to do this episode because I just see way too many people setting these expectations and not hitting them and then beating themselves up and feeling so much shame for something that’s actually, like, Just normal.

It’s just normal to have to put more into your business in the beginning than you’re getting back. That will change. And hold that vision for it changing. And start believing, I can make [00:29:00] money now. Start doing your work around your relationship with money. start creating a return for yourself, right? Start becoming the person that gets the return, but you have to let go of the shame that you’ve been carrying around for past things that you’ve invested in.

And before I wrap this up, I do want to share one more thing that I think is really important. So even if you are making money in your business, but let’s say there’s something that you’ve invested in that you’re like, Oh, that was not worth it, right? Like, that was so not worth it. I didn’t get what I wanted to out of that.

Um, and, oh, I just wish I hadn’t done that. It’s really important that you learn to release that. Because holding on to it is doing nothing for you. Nothing. It’s not going to protect you. It’s not going to protect you from anything in the future. If anything, it’s only going to have you losing [00:30:00] your trust in yourself, you know?

And you can totally trust yourself. It’s normal that we… Sometimes, you know, it’s just like the stock market right or anything that you invest in. It’s like, yep You’re gonna have some wins. You’re gonna have some losses. Oh, well move on What’s next and that’s the way that I hold it because i’ve invested in a lot of things Believe me in my business and things that I was like, oh, this is not what I expected This is I do not even like being in this container and it was a lot of money, but I will never Make myself stay in something that I don’t feel good in because it’s not gonna help me.

And I just don’t beat myself up about the fact that I paid for it. It’s like moving on. Okay, that’s fine. Whatever, right? Like do I wish I would have? No, it’s okay. But what I’ll sometimes do is think about also Is there something that I took from this? What was the value that I got out of this? Even if it wasn’t what I expected, sometimes it’s literally the value is, I see what I don’t [00:31:00] want to be.

I see how I don’t want to be, and how I actually want to run my business. Right? I’ve had things like that. But also, sometimes the value is, Oh my God, I took on this one thought within that container, or like, I learned this one thing that I’m just going to say was worth the entire investment of it. And I’m going to move on, right?

So the, really the, um, what I want to, sorry, let me say that one more time. So in summary, what I am recommending just for your own energy is move on. Don’t hold on to shame or regret or anything else about things that you’ve done in the past. Because it’s not going to help you move forward. So I hope this was helpful for you and I am excited for you to let go of investment shame and really just move [00:32:00] forward and keep going and learn how to create a return on that investment, which is why you’re here.

That’s what we’re talking about on this podcast is how do we get a return? How do we make money? All right. So I’m here to teach you. All right. I will see you next week. Talk soon!