Overcoming the Fear of Failure (and other powerful live coaching moments!)

Jamie: [00:00:00] Welcome to Money Manifestation and Business, the podcast that shows you how to use your energy, intention, and consciousness to reprogram your money mindset, unleash a new level of possibility, and create a life in business that lights you up. I’m your host, Jamie Berman, and I invite you to join me each week for a dose of.

Inspiration, coaching and teachings to help you rewrite your money story, create abundance on your terms, and grow your business in a way that’s fully aligned for you. This is gonna be so much fun. Let’s dive in. 

Anna: Hi Jamie. Hi. How are you? Yeah, I am. I’m kind of confused. Today’s everything about confusion and when you, we started today [00:01:00] I was really like, anxious.

Yeah. And was like, I don’t know what’s going on. And when you ask about what we feel, and I was like, I don’t know. I don’t know. And then I thought, okay, what’s, what’s the thing keeping me from looking at it? 

Jamie: Yeah. And then 

Anna: I thought, it feels like there. Has to be, has to, um, have a change happening. 

Alex: Yeah. 

Anna: But there is something holding me back and Yeah.

And I kind of think that more money would mean more responsibility and I’m not ready 

to, 

Anna: yeah. Have more responsibility because then there will be more problems and, and yeah. So yeah, when 

Jamie: we have a negative connotation of what more money would be, it’s gonna stop us from desiring it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. If we think more money, more [00:02:00] problems, or more money is heavier, what?

What did you think it was more money would be heavier? What did you think? More responsibility? Yes. Would be more, yeah. Okay. Yep. That thought of, of course, it’s hard to ma manifest money from that place because you’re associating, it’s like you’re associating money with heavy responsibility or more responsibility, more work.

Mm-hmm. And so if you think more money would be more and more responsibility, it’s gonna make you resistant to creating more. ’cause that feels heavy. Mm-hmm. So the opportunity is to look at that thought and recognize that that is not a truth. More money does not necessarily equal more responsibility.

Mm-hmm. And to prove to yourself and show yourself that that is not true. You probably heard that right? You probably heard more money is more responsibility. Yeah. [00:03:00] Yeah. But honestly, I think less money is more responsibility because think about it like this, when you don’t have money to pay for things, think of how much work it is to try to navigate that and how much responsibility you’re always having to check accounts.

You’re always having to look at things. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know that’s been the case for me. Like I had to be so on top of my budget. I had to be so responsible whenever I had less money. 

Anna: Yeah. Um, there was a time a few years ago where I got a lot of money Yeah. Through different channels and I, it was like, yeah, really, uh, I was really grateful, but it didn’t last as long as I, um, expected it to be.

Mm-hmm. And I think I’m as well scared that it just goes away and, and, yeah. 

Jamie: Okay. So you’re thinking that if you manifest money, it’ll just go away? That I can’t hold it or, yeah. Yeah. [00:04:00] And do I think the question is too, with manifesting more money, is the purpose to hold it? No, 

Anna: it should. It can be. It should flow, and it should be like moving and, yeah.

Yeah. So you 

Jamie: circulated the money? Mm-hmm. Okay. 

Anna: What’s wrong with that? Not nothing really, because now when I think about it, really good opportunities followed from it. Hmm, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Even when the money was gone, there were different things happening, which were like really cool and, and really great opportunities in my life.

Okay, so it was almost 

Jamie: like you invested 

Anna: the money. 

Jamie: Yes. Yes. And opportunities and cool things. And you circulated in opportunities. Yeah. 

Anna: Okay. So how is that heavy? It doesn’t feel [00:05:00] that heavy now. Yeah, 

Jamie: yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s super interesting, right? Because I think many of us, and I did this too, where I thought, oh, like.

Manifesting a hundred thousand dollars meant I would have a hundred thousand dollars in my account. It’s like, no, a hundred thousand fifth dollar business does not mean you have a hundred thousand dollars in your account. If you want a hundred thousand dollars in your account, that’s a different manifestation.

That’s I want to save, or I want to invest, or I want to have a net worth of a hundred thousand dollars. Mm-hmm. And that’s a different route than just manifesting money. So if you want to hold more, you can decide that. You could decide, oh, for anything I make, I’m gonna put 10% into investments, or I’m gonna put 10% into savings if you want to hold money.

But you have to do that intentionally. Yeah, yeah. Because money’s usually meant to be circulated. 

Anna: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

Jamie: But you [00:06:00] can also of course, be intentional with it and decide, I wanna hold money and circulate money. But like you just have to be intentional. Yeah. It’s not responsible. It’s not like a heavy responsibility, it’s just a decision.

Anna: Yeah. I always think about as well, that you have to have a certain amount saved or something. 

Jamie: Yeah. Which you get to decide, right? You get to question. Yeah. Is that in alignment for me? Do I want that saved? If so, I can, you can totally do that. Yeah. Or maybe I decide that that’s not what I want. Yeah. Like you get to decide that.

Anna: Mm-hmm. That’s, that’s news for me. Yeah. I just, yeah. Yeah, 

Jamie: yeah. Totally. So with that, what are you coming to af after we’ve kind of discussed some of these things, what are you thinking about? Money or [00:07:00] more money or the desire to create more money? Where does your head go now? 

Anna: It’s now going to, um, everything I do with my money is an investment.

Mindi: Yeah. 

Anna: And comes back to me, is now like kind of. 

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. So how do you feel about manifesting more money? 

Anna: Excited. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Anna: I’m excited for the next few days and, um, yeah, fine, because in the beginning I wrote down as well. I decide that, um, there’s a shift happening in the next few days. Mm 

Jamie: Ooh, that’s fun.

Anna: Yeah. And yeah, and then I felt all the resistance, like, ah, 

Jamie: yeah. Mm. But it’s a positive one. Yes. Yes, totally. I love it. So good. Mm-hmm. Cool. Thank you. So yeah, you could [00:08:00] just practice like looking for evidence of how it’s not more responsibility, like if you already know how to be responsible. If you take care of your money now you’re gonna know how to take care of your money then.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It’s just an intentional thing. It’s not like it’s more responsibility. Yeah. Just more numbers. Yeah. Yeah. 

Anna: Yeah. 

Jamie: Awesome. Wow. So good. 

Anna: Thank you. It’s really, um, I’m really moved by all of the others and the stories, so thank you. You love it. I’m really excited. Yes. It’s so fun. I love it. I love it.

Jamie: Anna, me? Yes, you. How are you? 

Michaela: I’m good. Thank you. I, I have been in your program for a bit more, a little bit more than a month, and I’m not, I. Hitting the highest, so to say. But I, what I [00:09:00] do, what I do notice is that I notice, uh, blocks. I think 

Jamie: Blocks. 

Michaela: Blocks, yeah. Okay. What, what’s stopping me? 100%. One after another shows up, I think I find a new thought and I would get all positive, and then I kind of stumble.

And now I would like to it. When it showed up on your, um, when you were, yeah. What you. I lost the word, nevermind. Focus on your gifts and amplifying those. Yeah. And then I realized that I think that my gifts, what I’m good at is not worth, well, maybe it’s worth money, but it’s not something that people pay for that can, can get me money.

Okay. 

Jamie: Yes. Okay. So I think we should address the two different things here. Yeah. And thank you Alex for chiming in there. Um. I think the first one is how you’re holding your process. Like I’m not hitting highs. [00:10:00] I’m wondering how much time you’re cel you are spending, celebrating your shifts, celebrating awareness, celebrating yourself.

Michaela: Probably not enough. I do, I do try to, to get some time carved out for it every day. Okay. I would love to, what are you 

Jamie: noticing within yourself? 

Michaela: The little things every day? Yeah. Like, um, yeah, like how my life is, like when something goes well at work or when I have good interactions and Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Things like that. When my daughters do something nice, when we have a nice conversation and where we really can reach each other. Yep. Okay. So things like that. 

Jamie: Yes. Okay. And what are you thinking you need in order to feel better? 

Michaela: What I, what I raised [00:11:00] my hand for was a way to think about, uh, to, to kind of change the thought around this, uh, on, on, on this, what I consider being my gifts.

Yep. And how I can change that. I don’t think. That you can make money on that? Mm. Okay. Yeah. Tell me more. I, I think I, what I, what I’m learning is that I’m really good at listening. I’m really good at listening, and when I talk to people, I work as a psychologist, and when I talk to people, I, I do different stuff.

Uh, when I talk to people, they often, I can often understand that I’m good at listening. I would like to develop that more. Okay. Yeah. To see if I could, could that be a way of making money? Maybe Could I get in incorporate with that? Could I somehow use that skill that I have that make people feel [00:12:00] comfortable around me when I work?

Yeah. Could I create a thought or a way of thinking around that, that I can buy into that Yes, this can render me money. 

Jamie: Totally. I think that’s a great question. A hundred percent. So you’re seeing how it could, right? 

Michaela: No, I think that’s a problem. 

Jamie: Okay. Because you mentioned a couple of examples. You said, oh, I could see maybe working in corporate, or what are some examples of what some of the things that you could do with this gift?

Michaela: Uh, yeah, that, that’s, that’s a wish. I’m not really seeing it. That’s a ho I hope. Could this be. 

Jamie: Hmm. What’s the difference between a wish and a thought? The belief probably, I’m guessing. Yeah. Yeah. Probably the feeling that goes with it. Yeah. Because when you [00:13:00] think, I wish it could be. How do you feel? 

Michaela: I feel both, in a way.

Hopeful. Mm-hmm. But also scared. Not, not scared, scared, but like, Hmm, probably not. Okay. So 

Jamie: that’s, it’s 

Michaela: like I don’t really believe it. 

Jamie: Okay. And then if you were to just think I could make money with communication or I could make money through corporate, how does that feel? 

Michaela: It feels exciting. Mm-hmm. And then I stumble on the how.

It’s like I cannot for the world see how, how should that work? 

Jamie: Mm-hmm. 

Michaela: Mm-hmm. So then I get stuck on the how. 

Jamie: Okay. Let me, I’m curious, totally doesn’t matter what the answer is, but do you have a relationship with some kind of higher power God, universe, anything like that? 

Michaela: Not, not really. I’m trying to, I’m working on it, but mm-hmm.[00:14:00] 

Jamie: Well, what I’m curious about is, well, let me ask you this. Do you believe that others could do it? Could somebody else make money through the gift of communication? 

Michaela: Yes. Yes. Okay. And I think, I think, I don’t know if we’ve talked about this, but, but this is something that I do. I declare myself the exception from a lot of things.

Okay. Others can, but I can’t. Okay. I think this is one. This might be one of these areas. It’s for others. 

Mm-hmm. 

Jamie: Why are you the one lonely person that can’t do it? One person on the whole universe. Wow. 

Michaela: Well, I guess I got some, somebody somewhere. Maybe we two. Okay. Maybe 

Jamie: like three people can’t do it. 

Michaela: I mean, when you ask the question like that, and I can even tell myself that sometimes.

It’s like, don’t think you’re that special. Well kind 

Jamie: like hate to [00:15:00] break it to you, but Yeah. 

Michaela: Yeah. Like, and still I kinda end up there in so many different ways they can, but I can’t. 

Jamie: Yeah, and that’s just a mindset, right? That’s just a way of thinking. It’s probably something you’ve been thinking for a long time.

So of course it’s kind of ingrained, but it doesn’t make it true because that used to be the same way. Well, they could do it, but I can’t. They can make money. They’re lucky. I would give all the reasons why I couldn’t. 

Michaela: Yeah. 

Jamie: Then in this book, secrets of a Millionaire Mind. Um, there was this scenario around, ’cause I used to have the thought, like, they can make money, but I can’t.

And it was like, do you think in the, in the book they talk about, do you, it’s some, something like this. I’m probably gonna butcher it, but this is the story. Do you think like, when the babies were being created and put out into the world that God was stamping them? Worthy, worthy, worthy, oh, this one. Lonely, Jamie Berman is unworthy.

She can’t make [00:16:00] money, but like everyone else can, universal laws apply to everyone else. But this one girl, Jamie, Nope, nope, nope. Mm mm mm-hmm. 

Michaela: I mean that, that example is so good, but I tend to forget it. Everything that disproves my theory. Yeah. I forget them. Yeah. And I kinda lose them. Okay. I can keep it for a while, and then they’re gone and I’m back in my rut.

Jamie: So I think the question is, do you wanna stay attached to this story? Do you wanna stay attached to the story that you are the one person who can’t do it? 

Michaela: No, I don’t wanna stay attached to that. I would really love to be liberated from it. Okay. How 

Jamie: is it serving you? Is there something, some way, there’s some reason that you keep telling it that’s serving you?

Michaela: Oh, yes. I wouldn’t be able to fail because I, okay. Okay. So that’s 

Jamie: gonna be the cost of changing 

Michaela: it. It could be that, and I, who would [00:17:00] I be to believe that? I think I’m so afraid, I mean, I’m talking about this in the open now, but a part of me is so afraid of losing my face, of failing, of not being enough.

So I think there’s lots of, in some some ways I’m so confident and I. Love what I do in some ways. And yeah, but then there’s this parallel. It’s not like I’m in a parallel universe where I’m not worth the same as other people. Where my words aren’t, doesn’t matter as much as, and then when people tell me that they really listen to me, I can be, oh, you do.

Why? And then I know that I’m smart. I know that I know a lot of things within my area. I’m really trustworthy. And that still, no, don’t believe it. Okay. 

Jamie: So what I would say is, I think if you were to just shift this completely, the way your brain is seeing it is, oh, there would be a lot of failure and I would flop, and there’s the potential of danger.[00:18:00] 

Yeah. So I think what we wanna do is like allow yourself to shift it slowly. 

Yeah. 

Jamie: It doesn’t have to go away overnight. Let’s just shift it little by little in a way where you feel safe. Right? Yeah. So what I would consider is what if this is just a part of you, right? It’s an older part of you. It might be something that you were taught.

It’s a younger part of you that shows up, that gets triggered, that says, who am I? I can’t do it. I couldn’t possibly use my gifts to make money. It’s just this part of you that shows up. It’s not all of you. No, it’s not all me. Yeah, that’s true, right? Because yeah, you’re doing lots of things and you’re creating lots of things and you are using your gifts.

Yes. So it’s just a part that’s gonna show up. How can we hold it and how can we love on that part of us that shows up? 

Michaela: It’s like just in this very second thing. So [00:19:00] like, like falling down a bit more where I can understand how, how really scared I’ve been. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: And to not be worthy. Yeah. So increased understanding for myself and acceptance Totally.

I’d say. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: Which, saying that I feel like, well, duh, you psychologist, you should have known this ages ago. And I a little different with your own brain, isn’t 

Jamie: it? 

Michaela: Regarding others, this wouldn’t be an issue at all. I would’ve seen it pointed at it as a why. Why are people of this? But when it’s me, well, I, as we know, I’m the exception.

I’m the one person where the universal laws doesn’t apply. 

Jamie: Well, I think it’s more so it’s harder to see our own brain. Yeah. That’s why I have a coach too. I am a money coach and I have a money coach because I can’t see my own stuff. It’s been there too long. It’s, it feels too real. Yeah. [00:20:00] So knowing that it’s just this scared part of you that shows up, it’s like maybe a younger part of you it, if you think of it as almost like a child, what would you tell that version of you’s?

Yeah, 

Michaela: it’s a strong and stubborn child. 

Jamie: Yeah, of course. ’cause it’s scared. Anyone scared is strong and stubborn. 

Michaela: Yeah. 

Jamie: What would you tell it from your adult self? Knowing that it’s just scared. That’s why it’s so stubborn. Mm-hmm. 

Michaela: And just having you saying that, of course it’s, it’s a scared child. Strong and stubborn.

I can already feel like, like it’s a fighter. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: But we should fight together for something entirely different. Yeah. 

Jamie: And I think it just needs safety. It needs safe. It needs to feel safe. That’s how it’s gonna stop fighting. 

Yeah. 

Jamie: So that’s where the other part of you that isn’t in that necessarily the party that’s like, oh [00:21:00] yeah, I can see that.

That’s an illusion, but yet I still believe it. That part of you, we just wanna say, how could we spend 10% more time there? How can you come from that part? Talk to this other part of you that’s scared or would you wanna tell it? 

Michaela: I would wanna tell it that it’s okay to believe and okay to trust. And of course I will fail.

We’ve, I mean, you’ve talked about that several times. Just tonight we’ll run into obstacles. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: And that will be okay. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: But it’s like I cannot trust or believe if I might fail, but yeah. 

Jamie: You can fail either way, right? You can fail without going for it. You can also like no matter what, we’re gonna fail as humans from time to time.

Like failure is just a part of the human experience. So we tell ourselves, oh, if I go for my goals, I might fail. It’s like, yeah, you might also fail if you don’t go for [00:22:00] them. Like failure is a part of the human experience. 

Michaela: And this is so compartmentalized because there were loads of different arenas where I don’t mind if I fail, where it’s just like, brush off and go again.

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: But this area here, yeah. Something special. 

Jamie: And that’s where you may wanna make peace with failure. Like go into worst case scenario and say, decide on purpose who you would be with yourself if this happened, what would actually happened if you failed? Because when we resist it, we don’t, we we’re not willing to go for it.

Sometimes we paint an inaccurate picture of like, it would be horrible and all of these things when really it’s like, okay, if I actually failed, here’s what I would do. Okay. It would hurt. I would be pretty disappointed. I would have to grieve a little bit, but I might just get back up or I might try another, right?

It’s not actually as bad as we think. 

Michaela: What I’m afraid of, I think, I think I’m afraid I will go [00:23:00] completely bankrupt and have to sell my home. 

Jamie: Okay. So that’s where I would go to go to worst case 

Michaela: scenario. Yeah. I think that’s my worst case scenario. Yeah. I will not be able to support myself and my family.

Jamie: Okay. Yeah. Then what would you do? 

Michaela: I’d have to find another job. Yeah. 

Jamie: Okay. You’d find another job, 

Michaela: I think. I don’t know. Yeah. I don’t want to, but yeah, of course. If I have to. I have to. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: That’s worst case. Yeah. Could you handle it? I would have to, but it feels really, really scary. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Michaela: Yeah. 

Jamie: So I might go to that of like, could I make peace with that?

And what’s the best case? 

Michaela: The best case is that I end up somewhere and or not end up that I get somewhere. In not too far a future where I can make money on what [00:24:00] I do, where I can make good money on what I do. Yeah, 

Jamie: yeah, totally. So I think your opportunity for reprogramming this is soothing that younger part of you that’s scared.

Yeah. And it’s not pushing her, it’s not making her do anything. It’s soothing her instead of rejecting that part of you that’s not believing. It’s like, of course I don’t believe I’m scared. I’m afraid that I’m gonna lose everything. Hmm. Of course I’m scared. And I think when you move into acceptance and peace and love for that part, that’s gonna shift things for you.

Yeah. How does that sound? 

Michaela: Sounds great. I don’t think I’ve dared to, to like really ventilate to open up around these thoughts. 

Mindi: Yeah. 

Michaela: They’ve been stewing for long, but I haven’t kind of dared going there. Yeah. 

Jamie: You’re doing amazing work. Amazing work. So proud of you [00:25:00] and I’ll continue to support you. Thank you.

Yeah, it’s, thank you so much. Yes, you got it. All right, Alex. 

Alex: Hi Jamie. Hi. Um, yeah, I haven’t coached with you before. I connected with you through Whitney Yoland. I’m in her program right now. Love Whitney. Um, and yeah, so I have. I guess I have something I wanna be coached on, but also I have a little question from something you said yesterday.

You were sort of talking about how it’s different to manifest income versus holding money. And is, do you just mean like that’s, it’s different the way you think about it? Or like if you could just talk about that for a second. 

Jamie: Oh, absolutely. So I think if we just have to get clear on what we want, right?

Whenever it comes to money, what do we actually want? Because sometimes we say, well, we want more money and then we can make more money. But we’re also circulating all of that money simultaneously, and then we’re like, we need, I don’t really have more money. It’s like, I’ve made more, but I don’t [00:26:00] ever have it.

And so for. That what I would recommend is being intentional about what do you actually mean by I want more money? What does that look like? Does that look like a certain amount in your account? Does that look like putting X amount away in investments or in savings? Like getting clear? Because if we’re not clear on it, we probably won’t do it.

Like if we aren’t telling ourselves I want to save X amount, we’re probably not going to. Yes. So holding money the way that I meant that is the willingness to have some, not to circulate it. 

Alex: Yeah. Okay. I think that’s something I’ve been caught up in before is like, I’ll make money and then all of a sudden I like decide to buy a bunch of stuff or like I think I need, or all of a sudden.

Yeah. 

Jamie: Okay. So that’s why I think it’s helpful that where you could be intentional about what you wanna actually do with the money that you’re gonna create, so you can manifest and say, and this is what I wanna do with it. [00:27:00] 

Alex: Yeah. Okay. Yep. Cool. That’s great. Thank you. That’s much more clear. Absolutely. Um, and then the thing I wanted to get coached on is that I’m, so, I’m a film and television director, um, and sometimes in that world, like the really cool and exciting things creatively aren’t the highest paying.

Sure. And I know that’s something I’ve been told so many times and I’ve seen so many times and I’ve kind of internalized it in a way. Okay. I’ve just struggled to find a way, I guess, to manifest like the creative dream and the like financial compensation that I need to go with it. Like my last project is really creatively fulfilling and I had to put hat, even though I had a good fee.

I had to reinvest half of it into the project in order to get it finished. Okay. So, um, yeah, just 

Jamie: that’s okay. So what is the deepest desire is to be creatively [00:28:00] fulfilled and abundant. Yeah. Okay. Okay, perfect. So let’s look at, ’cause you already identified a couple, but what your thoughts are. That might get in the way of that.

Right? Because if we say that’s the result you want, right? If we look at the model and like here, thoughts become things. So if we put in the result that you wanna create us be creatively fulfilled and abundant. Mm-hmm. I wonder what you’re thinking that’s blocking that. That’s not allowing that to come to fruition.

Yeah. But maybe it even is and you’re not noticing it. I don’t know. 

Alex: Yeah. And I, I wonder if it’s just like I’ve had certain experiences and so it’s clicked in my head that way. Yeah. Uh, but like the work that’s paid me the best or where I’ve been able to get enough work that it’s paid me well, uh, has been [00:29:00] either not directing, its being an executive, uh, which was a little more steady money or through projects that weren’t as fulfilling.

Like they like television, movies, which like. Are really fast and pay, pay you quick, but don’t pay you as, as well, and they’re not as interesting. Um, okay. 

Jamie: Yeah. So in your vision, do you see yourself making really big money from either a creative project I. 

Alex: Yeah. I mean, in the ideal world it would be making really great money directing, like prestige television shows.

And then also, um, my own feature films that I, I write as well, so Okay. That would, that would be kind of the vision I have, but yeah, so it’s totally possible. 

Jamie: Yeah. Like there is a world in which this can happen. 

Alex: Yeah, there is. Yeah. It just, I’m realizing now, I’m like, oh, this feels just like impossible for me somehow.

I’m like, 

Jamie: right. It reminds [00:30:00] me same. We all think the same, don’t we? Yeah. But what lonely me can’t do that. What a old me. What if you’re wrong about that? 

Alex: Yeah. I, I could be wrong about that. Um, so maybe just like inching. Kinda like you’re talking about, like shifting the thoughts to like, it’s possible that I could Yes.

Make 

Jamie: totally, and what I might even ask yourself is who is the version be like what, what identity, what I need to embody in order to be that person. Like I wonder who is the person who. Has a feature, has a high level TV show, right? What, however you worded it. Exactly. But like how do they think about themselves?

What is the vibration they’re in? What is their belief? What frequency do they hold? What’s that [00:31:00] identity? Because I think right now you’re in an identity of that’s not me. Yeah. Yeah, that checks out. That makes sense. So what makes it you is how you think, how you hold yourself, what you believe is possible, what you believe about yourself, the feelings that you hold.

So it’s not like that identity is just gonna come onto you and it’s gonna decide for you. You get to decide, oh, I’m stepping into that. 

Alex: Yeah. Okay. That, yeah. That like things are falling into place now. That makes a lot more sense. Oh, fun. 

Jamie: I love it. Awesome. Totally 

Alex: possible. Great. 

Jamie: Thank you. Yep. I love it. So good.

Perfect. 

Mindi: Hi. Okay, so something that came up yesterday, uh, during the call, uh, was how, when I first wake up in the morning, 

Jamie: yeah. 

Mindi: My first thought is, I’m tired, I don’t wanna get up. And I think you coached me about this a long time ago, but the, the [00:32:00] idea that I quote should be getting up earlier in the morning and have a powerful morning routine and all that stuff just keeps poking at me.

Okay. And I think part of it is. That I want to get up with my kids when they go to school. I want to get up with my boyfriend and have a cup of coffee. Mm-hmm. And, you know, see him off for the day. Okay. Those kinds of things. Yeah. I wanna get up in the morning and exercise, which I’ve never done way. Um, but I keep coming back to, okay, so how do I do mindset work on thoughts that are like, it almost feels like they’re subconscious.

Like I totally. My brain, my conscious brain isn’t even awake yet. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Mindi: You know what I mean? Yeah. To, to be able to question 

Jamie: it, I guess. Okay. Well, yeah. Great question. So I think here’s how it’s, it’s like right now you’re looking at it all right? You’re watching it from your, how your brain, you’re watching the pattern.

You’re watching what you, you’re thinking about what you want. And I think from this phase, this is where you [00:33:00] decide and make a decision. Because maybe there’s a little indecision of like, oh, I wanna, and maybe I’ll just work on, you know, being okay with sleeping in. And then there’s this other party that’s like, but I want this.

So I would decide, what do you actually want? If you could program yourself to do that with ease, eventually it might take a little bit of habit creation, but either way, it could be sleeping in and being totally fine with it, or it could be. Waking up at a certain, like you get to decide, what would you say is the most aligned for you in terms of what you actually want from this brain?

Mindi: Yeah. So I think two things come up for me as you’re talking. Um, the first thing is I have this story of myself that I am not a morning person. Okay. Never have been. Yeah. You know, and I have, I’m kind of convinced that I never will be. Okay. And so when I listen to your [00:34:00] podcast about, you know, you don’t do anything before 11 as far as work because you’re having your nice leisurely morning, I’m like, oh my gosh, that sounds like heaven to me.

Jamie: Yeah. 

Mindi: I would love to be able to wake up without an alarm clock. Just naturally. 

Jamie: Yeah. 

Mindi: But then again, I miss my kids. Yeah. I miss my boyfriend. That makes sense. Yeah. 

Jamie: So 

Mindi: I kind, actually, what’s coming up right now is that for the next two years at least, while my daughter is still in high school, what I really want is to get up.

Yeah. But that’s not, there’s a part of me that’s like, I don’t believe I can do that. Yeah. Um, because it’s not who I am. Yeah. But then after the two years when my kids are, you know, out of the house, at college, whatever. Yep. Am I going to want to, because I still have my boyfriend, then that I would love to be able to get up and go to the gym together and Yeah.

You know, do kinds of things like that. Cool. Do you want to be a morning person? I think I kind, I do. Okay. Like I wanna be a morning person. I just, okay. [00:35:00] Don’t think it’s possible. 

Jamie: Okay. So that’s the only thing we need to work on is the part of you that thinks it’s not possible. Yeah, that’s it. You 100% can be a morning person.

You just have to decide it’s possible. 

Mindi: Interesting. This takes me back to. Was it the podcast? I don’t remember if it was a podcast or one of the videos in the portal, but you talking about how, you know, the introvert versus extrovert Yes. And the empath. Um, yeah. Thing. And I’m like, yeah. My first thought is you can’t do that with this because I’m like, by nature wired to be right.

A night person. Um. 

Jamie: Which is what we were taught. Yes. So of course your brain thinks that, and then there’s these quizzes that you can take online that say, oh, you’re a bear, or you’re an owl, or You’re this, or you’re.[00:36:00] 

Mindi: Uh, I just know my own habit has always been, yeah. Like from the time I was very young, I would get up and literally walk across the room to hit snooze on the alarm clock. Yeah. And go back to bed and dream before it went off again in 10 minutes. 

Jamie: So here’s the key phrase here. Yes, I know. My habit has always been, it’s not who I am, it’s just, that’s been my habit.

So of course if that’s been your habit, of course you would believe that’s who you are. And if you do the opposite of that and you feel really tired, your brain’s gonna have a lot of evidence that I’m not a morning person. Because you’ve had that habit your whole life. 

Mindi: Yeah. 

Jamie: Right. So. It’s, it’s more of, I think you’re gonna have to go through the process of reprogramming the habit and know that it’s not gonna be comfortable, but you can become a morning person a hundred [00:37:00] percent.

Like I just did a podcast episode, I think it was two, two weeks ago, about how I decided to be alcohol free and be someone who just doesn’t drink. Now, I knew it was gonna be an uncomfortable journey getting there. Like I didn’t think it was gonna be completely comfortable when there were certain friends who I used to drink with and liked me as a drinker, but I just decided I really want this.

And I decided why. And I was like, I’m just gonna have to work with the discomfort parts of this. And after so much time, it’s like so not uncomfortable. It’s just who I am. Like there’s no question. I’m like, I would never even want to drink. I just have no desire. 

Mindi: Yeah. 

Jamie: And that can totally be you of like in two years, whenever the kids are away to be like, oh, well I’m a morning person so I’m just gonna get up anyways.

There’s no reason to think about this. I love to get up and I love to work out and do my mindset stuff and I love to be with my boyfriend. 

Mindi: [00:38:00] Yeah, okay. I mean, a lot of this for sure resonates is true. Um, and then my brain still goes back to, okay, first thing in the morning when. Like the totally, my conscious brain’s not awake and I’m thinking I’m tired and I don’t wanna go.

I don’t wanna get up. 

Jamie: Yeah. Which you will. 

Mindi: Yeah. 

Jamie: Um, so that’s where we come up with a plan. And you let this be a practice. It’s gonna be practice over. Perfect. So what we wanna do is every day, let’s set up, let’s decide on a plan ahead of time. You are going to, well, there’s also ways that you can like inch your way towards this too, where you don’t have to like, bam, become a morning person.

Yeah, like kind of like with me, I, instead of just like cold Turkey, stop drinking, I started drinking less and then, you know, all of that. You can do it that way too, where you just do half an hour earlier. Something like that. 

Mindi: [00:39:00] Yeah. You know what just popped into my head. This is even a crazy conversation to be having.

I get up with my kids at six 30 in the morning. I’m gonna say even without a problem, like, I get up, I take the dog out, I sit on the couch and wait for the kids to come downstairs. I do go back to sleep. Yeah. After they leave. Yep. Um, but I don’t have to. Right. I, I have evidence that shows me if I have somewhere to be first thing in the morning at 9:00 AM Yeah.

They leave, I go take my shower. Yeah. And I go do it. 

Alex: Yeah. 

Mindi: So I think you’re, we’re back to just like making the decision about, okay, I’m gonna get up at six 30 every morning. Yeah. And if I have to take a nap in the afternoon, I do. Right? A hundred percent. 

Jamie: And, and it just, I would just practice stepping into the identity of, I’m a morning person.

What would a morning person do? I’m a morning person. What would a morning person do? I’m [00:40:00] becoming a morning person. And not to make like being tired mean you’re not a morning person. Mm. 

Mindi: Really? Really?

That’s interesting. So I’m looking over here, LOL. I’m a morning person and still have a hard time getting up in the morning. Yes. I love it. Stuff that blows my mind because my boyfriend is like, he’s a morning person at five 30. He is like wide awake, laying in bed, like itching to get out of bed. Yeah. And I’m like, oh, that would be so nice.

But, oh my gosh. Interesting. Yeah, I can be a morning person and still be tired. 

Jamie: Totally. And you could also ask yourself like, how could I, you as Mindy, with your ways, how can you set yourself up? I know for me, like I am tired in the morning, but if I go outside or I go for a walk or I work out, move my body, that actually helps my energy.

So I like to ask myself like, what would actually help my energy in [00:41:00] the morning? You could ask yourself that too. 

Hmm. 

Jamie: Or like, what am I gonna do right after the kids leave to set myself up to have energy? 

Mindi: I keep telling myself, I’m gonna meditate, but I sit down to meditate and I fall asleep. 

Jamie: Maybe that’s the wrong thing to do.

Like maybe you meditate midday or you meditate at night and instead you go for a walk. Even just 10 minutes will make a huge difference. 

Mindi: You know what? That’s a good idea. Okay. And that can be a walking meditation 

Jamie: or put on a podcast or something where it’s mindset work, it’s meditation, and it’s walking all at the same time, and it’s becoming a morning person.

Multifaceted. Okay. Thank you a hundred percent. Yeah. Before you know it, you’re gonna just automatically do this and you’ll be like, oh my God, I’m, I’ve been a morning person all along. I could have done this all along. I’m excited. I feel like I’m gonna see that one in the movement. I’ll be thrilled if that shows up.

Oh, it’s going to. [00:42:00] I see it. It is done. Mindy. It’s done. You decided. 

Mindi: All right. All right, cool. Okay. 

Jamie: Thank you. Hey, thanks for listening. I hope this episode is something that you’ll be able to add to your manifestation toolbox to come back to when you need a little extra motivation. If you like what you’ve heard today and wanna take it deeper, you’ve gotta come check out my signature coaching program.

The money manifestation movement. It’s the place where you’ll not only learn manifestation, but you’ll begin to live it alongside me and an amazing community of like-minded entrepreneurs doing this work together. Head on over to jamie berman.com to learn more.