I get a lot of questions about food restriction. Women ask me questions like….
Doesn’t restricting cause binging?
Isn’t restriction just diet mentality?
If I restrict my food wouldn’t that mean that I don’t accept my body now?
When I restrict, I just want it more. Why is that?
Is restriction bad?
The answer to these questions depends on WHY you are restricting.
[*Side note: I’m referring to restriction as restricting food. Whether it’s restricting certain types of foods, the amount of food, or the time you eat food.]
The way I see it, there are two different types of restriction; hate restriction and love restriction.
What distinguishes these two types of restrictions apart are the reason behind it. WHY you are restricting.
And your reason for restricting makes all the difference.
Let’s talk about the two….
Hate Restriction
Hate Restriction is when you are restricting food because you hate (or dislike) your body. When you want it to be different. We tie all kinds of meaning to the shape of our body. We make it mean that something’s wrong with us if we’re overweight. We think that a curvier body is unloveable. We have very negative thoughts about our body so we restrict food to try and change it.
This NEVER ends well. What happens when we restrict from hate (or even dislike) is we get too focused on the results…weight loss. We give all of our power away to the scale. We let it dictate how we feel. We let it dictate how we show up. And as you know, the human body doesn’t just continuously lose weight, even while restricting. So what happens is when the scale doesn’t move we get defeated and either restrict more, give up or go binge.
Hate restriction is not about health. It’s about wanting to change our bodies so that we can feel better. The problem is, our bodies cannot determine how we feel. Our thoughts about it do, so even if we “hate restrict” like crazy and lose some weight, we’re never satisfied or content. Hate restriction is NOT the answer and it feels terrible!
Love Restriction
The other kind of restriction, I am referring to as love restriction.
Love restriction is when we are restricting certain foods from a place of love. Love for ourselves, love for our bodies, and a desire to be the healthiest version of ourselves.
What this looks like is cutting out flour and sugar because you want to balance your hormones associated with PCOS. Maybe you want to get pregnant. You want to feel better in your body and manage your symptoms naturally. You’re doing it because you love your body, not because you hate it.
When we are restricting from a place of love, we just see the number on the scale as data and use it to learn what foods work for our bodies. We don’t make it mean anything about us.
Sometimes restricting food is the most loving thing you can do. After all, food affects our health on every level—physical and mental. Cutting out certain foods can improve depression. It can allow us to live longer lives. It gives us natural energy. It can allow us to feel good in our bodies and be able to be as active as we want with ease.
I don’t think there’s anything more self-loving or body positive than that, when it’s coming from a place of love!
So to answer the questions above, here it goes….
Doesn’t restricting cause binging?
No. Restriction itself cannot cause binging. Our thoughts and feelings about restriction drive binges. So when we are in “hate restriction mode” it’s very likely that we will get into a binge-restrict cycle.
Isn’t restriction just diet mentality?
Love restriction is not. Hate restriction is.
If I restrict my food wouldn’t that mean that I don’t accept/love my body now?
Not necessarily. You can love and accept your body now and have a vision for what you want in the future. This is love restriction. If you are restriction BECAUSE you don’t love or accept your body, that’s hate restriction.
When I restrict, I just want it more. Why is that?
Two reasons. One, when our bodies are in a sugar-burner mode and we restrict sugar it takes our hormones some time to adjust and we can have some withdrawal symptoms. This could mean increased cravings or urges for sugar, headaches, and low energy. It’s totally ok and normal for your body to go through this. When we are cutting out sugar from a place of love, we allow our body to go through this process and add in a little extra self-care to make the transition smoother.
The second reasons we may want more is because of the thoughts in our mind. When we’re coming from a place of hate restriction, we may be thinking thoughts like “I can’t have it.” As you know, what we resist persists. So when we tell ourselves we “can’t have things” our primitive brain pushes back and wants more of it. So it’s important to notice our self-talk when it comes to restricting. When it’s harsh and black-and-white, those cravings are going to go wild. When it’s loving and compassionate, we allow the urges to pass.
Is restriction bad?
Restriction is not bad, but the results of your restriction will depend upon where it’s coming from- love or hate. Love restriction will result in health and well being, and hate restriction will end in the same perpetual cycle over and over.
I’ve personally had experience with both types of restriction.
In my early 20’s, I lost 50 pounds from hate restriction. Doing diet after diet, taking pills, and wanting to change my body so that I could feel “better.”
Once I saw that it didn’t work and I gained all that weight back plus some, I decided I was never going to diet from that place again. I got to work on my body image, and I naturally gained the desire to restrict certain foods from a place of love.
The energy of losing weight felt sooo different from love restriction. There was no doubt in my mind it was permanent. There was no fear of gaining it back. I was patient. I didn’t make the scale mean anything about me. I didn’t make my body mean anything about me. I developed a new identity and became someone who loves to eat healthy and take care of myself.
This is what I teach my clients. I help them learn how to love themselves and their bodies, and in turn, weight is lost!
Want support losing weight in a way you never have before? Sign up for a free strategy call with me here and I’ll teach you how I help my clients shift their relationships with themselves, with food, and with their body for good!
In health & happiness,
Jamie
