What is one toxic behavior or habit that you’d like to give up?
Maybe it’s spending too much time on social media, an unhealthy habit like smoking or overdoing the sugar, comparing yourself to others, or maybe it’s hanging out with someone who knocks the energy out of you. Whatever your toxic behavior is, consider this…
How about giving it up, just for 21 days?
Ok easier said than done, right. You’re thinking, yea if it was only that easy. I’ve tried to give it up a million times, but I just don’t have the willpower do it. If you’re in this place and if you’ve been struggling with this for a while, I’m going to recommend you ask yourself a couple of questions, so grab your journal because it’s time to look within…
Step 1: What value is this habit or behavior bringing me?
And I realize, you’re probably saying NOTHING!! That’s why I want to quit! But the truth is, it has to be bringing you some value or you wouldn’t do it.
I’ll give you an example. Say you want to cut down on the wine at night but for some reason you just can’t seem to do it. What is it that wine (or whatever your “thing” is) brings you when you really think about it? I had one client who told me it brought her a sense of calm and comfort. I asked her where else in her life she experienced calm and or comfort. She couldn’t answer my question- because she didn’t experience it anywhere else in her life. I told her, thank god you have wine! It’s been serving you. But…now it’s time to find ways to create calm and comfort in your life in other ways than just drinking wine. So we came up with an action plan for creating that.
Step 2: Now, once you realize what value you are getting from your habit- consider other ways you could get that, other than giving into your habit or instinctive behavior. Come up with an action plan for yourself!
For example, if you’re a sugar addict, you could be craving sweetness in your life. So what does that look like to seek out sweetness in your life in forms other than sugar? Maybe it’s buying yourself fresh flowers each week, volunteering at an animal shelter, holding your hugs just a little longer, or maybe it’s taking a nice soothing bath with your favorite essential oils at night. It can be that simple. And I promise the more you bring it in in other forms, the less you crave.
Step 3: SEEK OUT SUPPORT!
It’s extremely hard to knock a habit with the same mind that created it. Letting go of a habit or toxic behavior is literally reprogramming the brain to take a new route that is unfamiliar, can feel groundless, and very uncomfortable. So having support during this time is key! Whether that’s a therapist, coach, a good friend who understands, a support group, a Facebook group, or even a book that supports you, your chances of success will double. I can’t recommend this step enough if you really want lasting results.
So if you’re up for the 21 day challenge, first slow down and ask yourself these questions. Then once you find out what you gain from your habit, come up with other forms of receiving it, seek out support, and go for it! Have a little faith in yourself, you’ve got this!
