Attachment vs. Commitment Energy While Manifesting

[00:00:00] Jamie Berman: All right on today’s podcast I want to talk about attachment and why it’s really helpful. To let go of attachment whenever it comes to the things that we want to manifest and our goals that we have in our business. Y’all know I talk a lot about the energy behind what we are doing and the energy behind What’s driving us in our business and how that matters big time.

And attachment is actually one of the energies that I see people, even myself included getting into that is just so not helpful in business. And I think it really does slow us down. So in today’s episode, I want to break down what attachment is, what that might look like in terms of you and your goal.[00:01:00] 

And what kind of energy I recommend getting into instead. All right? So first of all, let’s talk about what attachment is. Attachment is when we think that something outside of ourselves is going to make us feel fulfilled or make us feel happy or make us feel, uh, worthy or successful. We attach things outside of ourselves, like goals.

Money, the success of our business, relationships, all kinds of things, right? All kinds of material things. We attach things outside of ourselves to a feeling, right? And what I mean by that is we say things like Oh, once I make 100, 000 in my business, then I’m going to feel successful. Then I’m going to feel worthy.

Then I can talk [00:02:00] kindly to myself. Then I’m going to feel abundant even, right? Or I’ll feel abundant once I hit a million dollars. Or we’re like, once I get this many clients, once I fill up, then I can finally feel relieved. Then I can feel fulfilled. Right? So we’re attaching our goal with a certain feeling.

And we tell ourselves, I can’t feel this way until I reach this goal. So what happens is, then we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to reach it. Or to get to that place. Or to manifest the thing. Because… We make it mean so much. We put it almost on this pedestal of like, it is very, very important to get here because without it, I can’t feel these things.

I can’t talk nicely to myself. I can’t call myself successful until I reach this certain height, right? So you can see how when we do that, then we suddenly become attached to it. We’re like, I need to have [00:03:00] that. thing. It’s very, very important. And again, the downside in business when we do that is that then we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get there.

We are in a rush to get there because we think it’s going to be so much better once that thing finally happens or once we reach that thing, right? And we also tend to, because of the rushing, we can burn ourselves out. We kind of hustle our way there, but honestly all of that, the pressure, the hustling, the being in a rush, the being impatient, all of that just slows us down in business.

It feels productive, right? It’s all very high energy. It feels very rushy. It feels very urgent. We might take a lot of actions from that place and it feels like we’re doing something. But honestly, from that energy, we only slow ourselves down because we’re not tapped into our We’re not coming [00:04:00] from a grounded place when we’re in that energy.

That’s why you hear so many manifestation teachers talking about practicing non attachment, letting go of the attachment to your goal and it’s going to make the process getting there just so much smoother, so much flowier. Right? The other thing about attachment that I realized in terms of a mindset perspective is when we’re attached to something, when we’re in this really needy energy of having to get there, having to make it happen, we’re in a massive rush.

We’re actually not in belief. We’re not believing that it’s happening. We’re not believing it’s done. We’re not believing it’s on its way We’re actually in disbelief. We’re not believing So what we do is we get really attached and then we try to get into a rush to try to make it happen Right? so So if you get attached to your goals, you’re so not alone.

Welcome to being human. Of course, right? In fact, in Buddhism, [00:05:00] that is the second noble truth is what they state is. I think the first noble truth is that suffering is just a part of human life. And then in the second noble truth, they talk about how the cause of suffering, the reason we suffer as human is because of attachment, because we attach.

All of our happiness to things outside of ourselves that are so transient. Money’s transient. Our success is transient, right? Transient meaning that it’s impermanent. There’s always going to be fluctuations and, um, movement with these things. So there’s nothing that is actually permanent. Nothing stays.

And that’s. It’s part of the beauty of life, but so many of us want to feel in control. So we attach to these things thinking that they are permanent. And once we reach that, Oh man, it’s going to be rainbows and daisies. Believe [00:06:00] me, I’m guilty of it. Like I said, I’ve totally done this, not only in my business with different goals that I’ve had, but also with different manifestations throughout the years.

And I’ll share stories. So I’m going to for me. But what I want to talk about before I get into that is this question that tends to arise, uh, for so many people, which is, okay, well, If reaching this goal isn’t going to make me quote unquote happier or more fulfilled, then what’s the point, right? If goals and reaching something can’t cause my feelings, what’s the point of going for it?

That’s one of the questions. Another question is, if I’m not attached, Then how do I actually take action and go for it, right? So I’m gonna answer both of those questions. So the first question around well, what’s the point of a [00:07:00] goal? If it’s not going to make me happier. Here’s the thing. It’s not that it’s not going to make you you know feel a new level of happiness or Let me start just that one sentence over and here’s

how I like to think about it. Is That sorry one more time

And here’s how I like to think about it. It does on some level.

Um, and the person that we have to become in order to manifest something, right? The changes that we have to make within ourselves internally and externally. The [00:08:00] limiting beliefs that we have to let go of. The… Uh, actions that we have to take, the resilience we have to build, the characteristics that we have to build along the way are going to evolve us in a way in which it just feels so good to grow.

It feels so good to become that next evolution of ourselves, and that is a part of the human experience. Experience is that we’re always going to want to be evolving When we feel stuck or whenever we try to stay safe and hide and do the same things over and over and don’t take any Courageous action don’t take leaps of faith We end up feeling You know, it doesn’t fulfill our souls.

It’s not soul fulfilling. We feel pretty bad being stuck. Right. And when you go for things, there is a fulfillment in that, but it’s not about the thing that gives you the fulfillment. It’s the journey that you went on and looking back at who you became and what you [00:09:00] overcame and the pride that comes along with that.

That’s the reason to go for it, right? We are meant to evolve as humans. And if you have a deep desire in your heart to create something, or to do something, or experience something, or manifest something, that desire is yours. It was given to you for a reason. It means it’s meant to be fulfilled. And, at the same time, it’s just important to tell yourself the truth, which is that once I get there, I’m still going to be a human.

I’m going to have… Lots of positive things happening and lots of positive emotions And I’m also going to have tough times whenever I’m there and I’m going to have negative emotions And I’m still gonna be a human being. It’s not this blissful state where it’s just unicorns and daisies and all magical things, right?

Like you’re still going to get there. You’re still going to be a human. And the reason to do it is because you can’t not. [00:10:00] There’s a part of your spirit that’s telling you to go do this thing, to create this thing. And what it’s about is that you evolving, you becoming that next version of yourselves and you having more.

It’s the experiences, right? When we way more of life. We feel way more alive than when we’re just kind of doing the same thing over and over, not really evolving, not moving into that next level, not manifesting new experiences or things or creations. So that’s the reason to do it. It’s because you were given the desire and you’re meant to.

Right, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be attached to it. You doesn’t mean you have to tell yourself Oh the only way i’m going to feel abundant is if I have millions of dollars or The only way i’m going to feel proud of myself is if I hit this milestone in my business Right, then all of a sudden we’re attached and then the journey just isn’t It’s not fun.

It’s [00:11:00] not fun at all. So when we can release attachment in terms of like, Okay, I understand. Like, I am going for this thing, and I’m going to grow, and I’m going to evolve, and it’s going to be an amazing journey. It’s going to be… It’s going to be challenging and I am going to grow through this, right? And we talk about it in that way and we realize, wait, and the opportunity, if I want to manifest this thing is to change my identity now, to start thinking of myself the way that I want to now.

So thinking about it like, Oh, who do I see? How do I think? How do I think I’m going to start thinking about myself if I reach this milestone? And the opportunity is to practice doing that now before you have it. It’s thinking, what do I think I’m going to feel whenever I get there? Oh, fulfilled or proud.

The opportunity is, ooh, how can I learn to feel that way about myself now? How can I learn to feel fulfilled [00:12:00] along the way? And that’s going to help you release the attachment of getting there quickly because you realize, Oh, I can have these things now. I don’t have to wait till I manifest that thing.

Right? So that makes all the difference. And I also think it’s really, really important to start Seeing yourself as worthy now, right? Worthy of all the things now. Not like, oh, I’m going to have self worth once I get there, right? So again, opportunity is bring that into now because you can have that now.

And just, and it’s so important to do that because that thing won’t give it to you. You can get there and you’ll be like, oh my gosh, I got here. I thought I’d feel fulfilled. I don’t. The reason that you don’t is because you haven’t built the habit of learning how to be fulfilled which is completely separate from manifesting something.

We feel fulfilled when we think thoughts that make us feel fulfilled. And [00:13:00] you have the ability to do that now. You can think whatever you want to now. You can cultivate emotions on purpose now. Right? Okay. So I hope that covers that question of what’s the point of going for it. Honestly, it’s because you can’t not.

Your soul is meant to do it. You’re going to grow and evolve through it, and it’s going to be an amazing journey. And once you get there, it’s going to be such an awesome experience because it’s going to be new. So you’re going to have a new 50 50 to work with. And when I say 50 50, I mean, a new human experience, right?

Of new positive emotions and new negative emotions and just it’s all, it’s different, right? It creates variety. So that’s how I think of it. And another question that arises often about like, okay, well, if I’m not attached, how am I even going to take any action? How am I going to go for this? And so I think it’s like the importance, let me say it one more time.[00:14:00] 

So just remember that it’s not about.

So

moving into non attachment does not mean you just sit on the couch and wait and just allow. Right? There’s other energies that you can tap into, other emotions that will help you to take action, but feel a lot better than attached. So the emotion that

So one of them will drive us. But one of us drives us in just so much more of a powerful way. Right? Like I said, attachment makes us feel pressured, [00:15:00] impatient. It’s just, we get in that hustling energy. We’re not in belief. It just doesn’t feel good and it’s not fun. Commitment, on the other hand, for me is completely different.

I can be non attached to a goal. I can be like, I’ve committed to this goal. I’ve set this goal, but it doesn’t mean anything about me. So whether I reach it or not, it doesn’t mean anything about me. It doesn’t mean anything about my life. But let me tell you what I am so all in committed. I’m wholeheartedly committed to creating that and I believe it’s going to happen and I’m committed to going all in.

Right? So when I’m thinking about, for example, my launch that I just had, I wasn’t attached to, Oh my gosh, I have to hit my goal. But I was committed to it. I was like, I am going all in to find the people who are meant to be in my mastermind. I am gonna go [00:16:00] all in. All in. And I am so wholeheartedly committed to finding the right people who are going to get the most transformation.

And I’m going to put myself out there and I’m going to make them as many offers as they need in order to find me and have the courage to say yes to this. I’m all in. I’m so committed to these people and to their transformation and to them finding the mastermind. So notice how that energy is so different.

It’s not about me, whereas attachment is about, Ooh, I need to hit this goal in order so that I can like feel good about myself. Commitment for me is I am so committed to making this happen and I love the idea of like I’m committed to their transformation. I’m committed to finding the people that this is going to change their life.

So it’s not just about me, it’s about all of us, it’s about them, it’s about… So much more than me. And for me, that feels so much more [00:17:00] powerful, so much more loving. It gets me into so much more, um, inspired and taking courageous actions that really lead to success. So it does really make a difference. And I’ll tell you what, I have seen this shift happen for me with something that I was manifesting.

It was a big shift. And when I moved from attachment to commitment, it changed everything. So whenever I was initially manifesting my place in Maui, which is something that I feel like has been a sole desire of mine since I was a little kid, since the first time I was on that island, I knew I wanted to live there.

And it was just something that like, I couldn’t. Not go for because I was so in love. I felt so at home there. I do feel so at home there. I love it So whenever my husband and I we had been manifesting that since we got married was to have like a second home in a tropical Island and I [00:18:00] really wanted it to be Maui And the more that I, like, imagined that dream, the more that it started becoming, like, an actual potential reality, I noticed myself starting to get more and more attached to it.

How did that look for me? For me, I started getting really impatient. I wanted it to happen now, right? And I kept thinking, oh, I just hate LA. I want to move out of LA, all the traffic, all the smog. I was focusing on all the things that I didn’t like about LA, right? I was like the energy. There’s so many people.

It’s a sensitive soul and I can’t be here. And I was being very dramatic about it, but it was really just focusing on all the things that I didn’t like, right? And I got myself into. I to get to Maui. I wanted to move there so bad. And I was talking to my husband about it all the time. I was complaining all the time.

I was [00:19:00] trying to figure out how we could make it happen. And it just felt awful. And I was in this energy for probably a year and a half. And it was so wild because we had so many maybes. We would go over there. We would look at homes. We would. You know, I meet with a realtor, put an offer, right, like things just didn’t, they, everything kept falling through.

It was like things just kept shifting and evolving and his vision kept shifting and then I would get mad at him. It was because I was so attached. And then I finally realized, wait a minute. Jamie, you teach manifestation. Do you notice you are in mega attachment here? Like I noticed that within myself and I think my husband probably pointed it out too because it probably wasn’t fun for him.

And I realized, ooh, I gotta shift something here because my energy is so not good around this. And I know because I’ve learned from Eckhart Tolle and from my own experience that the energy that you put into creating [00:20:00] something is going to be the energy of that thing. And I realized I don’t want my home to have that kind of energy.

I don’t want the place that I live to, you know, to have this impatient. frustrated, negative energy infused into it. So I realized I had to release attachment and my opportunity was to let go of the idea that I was going to be so much happier in Hawaii. And it was to let go of the idea that I was going to be so much calmer and more peaceful.

And that, you know, it was just going to be. I am so much better once I get there. I really had to do some inner work around that because my brain told me that was totally true. Like, Oh no, that is true. You’re going to be a lot happier when you get there. But I realize it’s not. And I realize that if I keep holding on to this idea.

I could get there, but I’m going to be really disappointed because I’m going to get there and realize I’m still a human with human thoughts, human emotions, with a mixture of positive and [00:21:00] negative moods and emotions and circumstances happening, right? So what I did was I just committed to stop complaining about L.

1. And I committed to start focusing on what I actually like about it. And I let go of the idea that I had to get to Hawaii fast in order to be happy. And I started taking on this belief, like, I’m gonna be just as happy there as I am here. So I started thinking, how can I make myself happy here? And how can I release this timeline that I’m placing on myself and this urgency to have it?

And so I started focusing on what do I like about L. A.? Oh, my gosh, I love my neighborhood. I love the fact that I can go to so many concerts that I’m probably going to totally miss when I live in Hawaii. I was thinking about how amazing the weather is and how we do have some seasons and it’s fun to have some seasons, right?

It’s not like the Midwest seasons, but we do. It cools down in the winter and it doesn’t [00:22:00] cool down in the winter in Hawaii. And I was thinking about what are the things that I’m actually going to miss? What are the little shops that I like to go stop in at and who are the people that are surrounding me in my life in LA that I’m totally going to miss?

And I started focusing on that and I let go of the idea that this has to happen fast. What do you think happened when I let go of attachment? Like, not even kidding y’all, like, I think it was like a month or two later that the Finances came in to make it happen We actually found the perfect condo that was like exactly what I was manifesting and more Things just fell into place with grace and ease and suddenly within two months we had an offer that was accepted and We got our place in Maui, right?

It happened! And it was when I let go of being so attached and I really surrendered [00:23:00] to, this’ll happen, but it’s gonna take what it takes, and I am going to be relaxed along the way. I am not gonna attach to this anymore. And I stayed in commitment, of course. I still committed to, I was still looking at homes, I was still committed to the vision, I still committed to the belief.

I was all in, right? I was still taking action towards it. But it was just from such a different energy, and that’s when things opened up and it actually manifested. And I’m so glad I did that inner work. Because I thought, oh, if I have a second home in Maui, all this LA stuff is just going to go away and I’m going to feel calm all the time.

But guess what? I still live in LA most of the time. And even when I’m in Hawaii, I still have a human brain and a human experience. So it’s just so funny because I’m glad I did that work of like letting go of so much complaining. Because if I hadn’t done that, Guess what? [00:24:00] I would still be complaining. I’d be like, ugh, I still live in L.

A., part time, and it’s so annoying, and blah blah blah, and I was just looking at the negatives, but every place in the entire… This world has pros and it has cons, right? There’s nowhere that I’ve lived that has been 100 percent perfect, including Hawaii. So just remember that that’s going to be the case for you as well.

So if you are in too much of this attached energy, that is probably just I’m going to release it and let go and be more patient and enjoy where you are now, enjoy the journey now, learn to cultivate a little more happiness in your life now. Learn to cultivate more fulfillment in your life now. Focus on what’s good as much as you possibly can.

And of course, I’m not expecting you not to have a human brain, but it’s [00:25:00] more like when you notice yourself in attached energy, recognize it and release it, right? And it’s going to make. All the difference in your manifestation journey and as you go for big epic things and big epic goals this difference in terms of Uh, attachment versus commitment is everything.

So highly recommend you give it a try. I would love to hear if you do. I am over at Instagram, so you know, come dmm me, come say hi. I am at Jamie Berman underscore, so come follow along. Let me know how you’re liking the podcast, and feel free to share. I will always reshare anything that you share, and I’ll see you all next week.

Sound good? All right, bye y’all.