Taking Agency Over Money with Zayne Khan

[00:00:00] Oh my gosh, y’all guess who I have with me today. I have Zane Kahn who is the friendship coach and I will tell you why I wanted Zane to come on the podcast. First of all, Zane is one of my amazing clients, but there’s a couple reasons I wanted to bring him on today. Number one, Oh my God, Zane, your energy is just magnetic.

Like, if you want to feel loved, just go in Zane’s energy. Like, go follow him on Instagram. It’s just the best and I love it and I love being surrounded by it. And on top of that, I also thought it would be super fun for you to share your entrepreneurial journey because I have witnessed all of your growth and it’s been so inspiring watching you grow and evolve and shift and grow this amazing business.[00:01:00] 

And I also think it would be really great to talk about friendships from the friendship coach himself. Because I think friendships are so, so important, not only in life, but as entrepreneurs. And especially for those of us who, are mostly behind the screen, right? And we’re mostly like interacting with people through Zoom, right?

And like, I think there is so much power in finding aligned friends and finding business besties that are going through this journey with you. So I would love to hear all of your amazing wisdom on how to make friends, how to work with social anxiety when, you know, you’re networking and things like that.

So Zane. Welcome, please go ahead and share a little bit more about You being a friendship coach, why you decided to start coaching on that, and tell us a [00:02:00] little bit about who you coach. Yes, thank you so much for having me, this is such a dream come true. When I was first introduced to you, it was really through a, call you were hosting in a, uh, coaching program.

And I was gushing about you to a colleague and she was like, Jamie Berman is if like sunshine just took on human form. And I’m like, yes, that is exactly it. So I’m so honored and happy to be here. Yeah. My name is Zane Kine. I’m a friendship coach for introverted adults. And in terms of how I came to this niche, As you said, it was definitely a journey for me.

When I certified in July of 2021, I was in an oblivion of niche drama for like a year and a half. And then I just really tapped into some of really the work we do prior to even, uh, being introduced to your program formally. I had been following you on Instagram and everything, and I knew about some of the work, but it was really the sense of like, What [00:03:00] would feel aligned and fun to do?

So I woke up one day and I thought, What about coaching on friendships? And I’m like, I’ve never even heard of a friendship coach. Is that a thing? So then I messaged my colleague and my coaching bestie, and she’s like, Zane, my coach is a friendship coach. She also certified life coach school, and she is fully coaching on friendships.

I’m like, okay, cool. That was the moment I knew I could do this. And I haven’t looked back since. It has definitely been. Such a journey with my business and with my entrepreneurship, I think for me, my story is a little bit different in that I grew up with everything when it came to money, I never had to struggle or question anything.

I didn’t know about prices. Even friends from a young age would be comparing prices of certain things. And I just Never had a concept of that because it was never an issue we had always more than what we needed the new game that came out we would just buy it immediately by asking our parents and what [00:04:00] came with that though was this robust sense of A lack of ability or lack of belief that I could be the one creating money and having an abundant mindset around money Because it was always just there for me.

It wasn’t something that I was creating I’ve never actually shared this story with you or any of my other coaches or colleagues here, but The first time I had a proper job was when I was, I think I was 17. I was working for a political candidate. I had been volunteering, just going door to door, talking about politics, which is something I loved.

And then my volunteer coordinator sat me down one day and said, Hey, you’ve been doing such great work. We would love to pay you. And I said, no, no, no, you don’t have to pay me. I just love this. It’s so fun. Like I love volunteering. and she looked at our director and was really confused like we’re wanting to pay this kid and he’s not wanting our money and then she was like having to insist with me like No, no, no, Zane, we’re gonna pay [00:05:00] you.

Just, you can do a little bit of volunteering outside of that, but we’re going to pay you. So that just really illustrated how, honestly, out of touch I was with the idea of value exchange. And that I could be someone who is actually providing genuine value to this world. And, again, that’s where your work really came in near the beginning of this year, yeah.

Yes. Oh my goodness. So I’m so curious. What do you think your belief was before about money? Yeah, my belief was it will always be there, but I won’t be the one to be a steward of it. I won’t be the one creating it. It’ll, it’ll just kind of be there as a convenience, but I’ll have no agency or power over it.

It’ll just be something that like is handed to me and I’ll always have to rely on that. You know for many people that might sound kind of nice and I do acknowledge the immense privilege and opportunity there and it did come with a sense of powerlessness and a sense [00:06:00] of No agency over my own ability to create money again until we really dove deep into this work Yeah, did that get in the way for you in terms like when you did start your business?

Like having that belief did that get in the way? when you started your coaching business? 100 percent on top of the niche drama, I was coaching and I was making a little bit of money here and there, but I had no capacity to just have that money cause it didn’t feel right when I was creating it. On top of my business, I had my contract position with the life coach school.

So there was a sense of, okay, I’m earning money, but it was just going away really quickly. I was just like, this feels really, Weird for me to have because I earned it myself. So let’s just get rid of it There wasn’t that beautiful energetic match that you teach us about in the money manifestation movement, right?

It didn’t feel like a match which is just so interesting for anyone listening to because it’s like It’s not just when you’re not making [00:07:00] money that you need this work It’s when you’re actually making money and have it because you need to have that capacity to Not only earn it, but have it for yourself.

So, 100%, even with my contract position, I’m like, This is nice, but like, the value that I was providing, I wasn’t really seeing it as much. So the money that I earned didn’t feel very consequential. It didn’t feel good in my body. And it just felt like something I could, and wanted to, just get rid of right away.

Yes. And so, did you, you just, that’s what you did. You would spend it right away? Because it was so, it was just uncomfortable. It wasn’t something you were used to creating and having. Yeah, until I really dove deep into the work we did together in, and are doing together in the Money Manifestation Movement, where it’s like feeling abundant and aligned and working on again, not just the process of creating money, but being able to have it and it just be there and land beautifully and celebrate.

All of the wins that came along with creating that result. So yeah, yeah, it was definitely a [00:08:00] journey Yeah, at what point did you become aware that that was a pattern that you were noticing? You’re like, huh? Like oh, this is interesting Yeah, I think it was really when I joined your program and realized that there was another option It didn’t have to be That self limiting belief of only the parents will take care of the money only, you know, the aunts and uncles, like there was that belief still running there too.

And also the idea of, well, I just need to get rid of the money. Even if I was investing it and, you know, other coaching programs, there was still a lack of being able to just have it there. And when I really dove deep into the work that you teach around just abundance and really regulating the nervous system, I know Daniela talks about tapping a lot.

On her episode here with you, Game Changer, of course, I was just introduced to it in your program properly and then I’m like doing it all the time now while I’m driving, you know, and then of course the full process what I’m here at home. So regulating the nervous [00:09:00] system, feeling aligned with the money, loving money and.

Really owning my own capability when it comes to being able to create money for myself, right? And not even just for myself, but it’s like I get to reverse that role now where money was being handed to me. That was my, I guess, call to growth, where you know, the universe, the divine said, you know what, this is going to be your challenge.

Like, you have to learn how to, um, receive in a way where you can still create, and then you can put it back into the universe times 10,

right? Yes. Think like you said, almost everyone needs some money coaching, right? Because it doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t come from money or if you came from a lot of money, right? There’s always going to be beliefs. That are come up whenever [00:10:00] you’re going to the next level, right?

So I love that you shared that like the first bit was the first bit of work for you was first Recognizing that you didn’t believe that you could create money You believed money was all around but that you couldn’t create it and then you’ve shifted that So you started to believe that you could create money and then that reality started happening for you.

You started making money But then it’s like the next layer where it’s like, Oh, now I have money. How can I be comfortable having this money that I created? And I think that’s something that’s not talked about often, but my gosh, is it a thing, right? We see it in the money manifestation movement all the time.

And that’s why I’m a big fan of coaching people longer term when it comes to money, because there’s so many layers to it. There’s like. It’s like when you first have like make money for the first time you have to learn to regulate your nervous system around it And I still do that work the more money I make I have to Continuously get more and more comfortable being a person that [00:11:00] feels safe with that, right?

and so I love that you shared that journey and Um, I love that the nervous system work has been so helpful and the tapping, and I’m curious, are there new beliefs that you’ve taken on now that allow you to feel more safe, not only having money, but creating money? Oh, absolutely. One thought you always offer, I guess it’s more a question is, what’s the opportunity here?

You say that. all the time in our coaching container in the movement, and it always lands so perfectly. I almost modified it and have heard from other teachers and mentors where it’s like, what’s the call to growth here? Right? And for me, it’s always like, Zane, you’re not just creating money for yourself.

It’s beautiful to do that and have all the things you want and have that convenience and that exchange of goods and services that you’ve talked about here on the podcast. It’s like you get to create for other people. So this isn’t only an opportunity for you, but this is an [00:12:00] opportunity to fulfill the desire that’s in your heart to give.

And give abundantly and give in a way that feels aligned And I think there’s something so beautiful about being able to create your own Money and call all of that in and then also give equally right? It’s just so beautiful And i’m so grateful that I have this opportunity now that my business is just like picking up so fast We’ll talk about that right in the momentum.

Yeah, we will i’m excited to hear It’s so great. I just love it. And I think that’s the biggest thing is knowing that This isn’t a journey just for me. Not only do I provide value through the exchange, through my coaching and through workshops that I’ll do, but actually just, you know, donating money and having that capability for myself.

It’s such a gift that I, you know, thank the movement and thank you for every single day. Oh my gosh, that is incredible. It’s incredible. So I’m curious, since you’ve [00:13:00] had, I always say, the courage to dive into this work, because it takes courage. And I think money is like… The last thing most people want to look at and start working on, right?

We’re like, Oh, let’s go do a marketing course. Let’s go learn Instagram. Let’s go do this course or this marketing course. But we tend to avoid looking at our relationship with money. But for so many people, That’s the missing piece, right? It’s like, and I mean, and it’s, I think every entrepreneur should be working on it all the time because we always have an opportunity for growth there.

So I’m curious, since you’ve had the courage to dive in and really look at this relationship, question it, challenge it, try a new way, courageously go for a new way, like what have been the effects of that? How has that helped your business? Oh my gosh, it’s helped everything, not even just my business. I just had a moment here, we haven’t talked as much about the practice of [00:14:00] visualization that you teach, I just had a moment where I was, I’m on a weight loss journey for everyone listening and I was driving to Taco Bell.

And I literally turned around as I was going just by the drive thru because I used future self visualization that you teach too where it’s like My future self was there for me and he was saying hey I’ve got you the future self that makes you know millions of dollars and donates and Is able to have a thriving coaching practice in his own home with a pool and a dog.

It’s just so beautiful this work. So yeah, I think it’s affected all areas of my life and that’s almost something that is impossible to even like market on and tell everyone here until you actually experienced the work, but it affected my contract position in that the money I was earning from that contract suddenly became more.

Aligned and valuable for me and that it’s like, you know, I earned this money I am on equal playing field with all of the other contractors who are [00:15:00] In this position and it really helped me I mean help my bank account because I wasn’t just spending the money left right and center, right? So it was actually a sense where I could accumulate and just have it there and have it grow, which was so nice.

Um, you know, again, when I certified in July of 2021, I didn’t earn anything that year after the last half of that year. Cause I was again in the niche drama and not understanding the energetics of money and how to manifest it. The next year I did earn like a thousand dollars, but again, it felt so in my private practice, I should say, I earned a thousand dollars and it was like, I still couldn’t hold on to it because it was one of those things where it’s like, I don’t know what I’m doing with my niche and this feels wrong for me to create.

I should just keep on relying on family. And then this year has been just quantum leaps in terms of my belief. The past, I actually just signed a client right before this call, which is hilarious. I know. I feel like every time I see you, Zane, you’re like, I [00:16:00] just signed a client. Yes. And it’s so great. I celebrate every single moment because it’s been such a new experience for me.

And I’m so glad I did the work where I could say like, I can, I’ve earned this. I put in the work, I’ve manifested it. So in my private practice, we’ve done more the past four weeks and all of last year, it’s like 1. 3k just the past four weeks, which is more than again, all of last year. And it feels so much better because I’m so much more.

Matched with the energy of having that money and also knowing that the coaching is going to be a better experience because the value exchange feels really reciprocal and even like I’m over delivering you talked a lot about that on a previous episode where you always feel like you’re giving more.

than what you have received in terms of the exchange. And I’m 100 percent there too. I can’t think of an area of my life where this hasn’t come into play. My relationships, my friendships, I’m thinking like, you know, of course, as a friendship coach, I was pretty well versed with my [00:17:00] friendships. But like, how can I manifest really specific friendships?

Like friends who love Taylor Swift, like you would think that’s kind of specific, but I’m like, no, if I call it out into the universe, it will come to me. It will come back and, you know, I started my own meetup group for Taylor Swift fans and it’s just so great. I love it! It’s like, there’s nothing you can’t manifest.

And I really want to touch on this because I used to be kind of, um, very science y and logical and I’m thinking, Oh, well, manifestation. This was like years ago. But I was like, this doesn’t really check out with me whenever I heard about it, but The thing is you’re always manifesting. It’s just either like not in the way that you could be or in like a negative way Where like you’re thinking negative thoughts about money and you’re calling in that same negativity, right?

Yeah, and I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing even having money through my family It was one of those things where I truly did not understand How actually like scientific this work is because it’s like, if you really want to break it down, a lot of it is your mindset, right? Yeah. [00:18:00] Which are the neural connections or even you can even break it down and see the electricity in your brain is like magnetizing the results that you create in your life, right?

So I can’t think of an area that it hasn’t affected in just the most beautiful, positive way. That’s amazing. So fun. And how do you hold your business differently this year than you? Did last year. Yes, there’s like this radical non attachment with also the most excitement and celebration. So I should say I’ve had quite a few consults since joining the movement too, and of course not all of them convert, that’s so normal.

And I think last year I would really take that to heart and be like, Oh, there’s something wrong with me. I need to switch niches again, which I actually did a lot last year. And now I’m just like, no, it wasn’t an energetic match yet. And now what I do for those consults that don’t convert, I’m like, here are all the abundant ways you can still learn about friendships.

I send them like a resource list and I just love. [00:19:00] Being able to manifest in my business because it’s like even things that I don’t love doing like email sequences and the more tech stuff It’s not my zone of genius But I always have the higher vision in my brain of helping all of these people These introverted adults create lifelong friendships and it makes it all so much worth it I think it’s so interesting because we can look at Even the 50 50 of business where again, some things you don’t like, but again, those things that you don’t like become easier because you know what you’re working for and working towards.

So it’s helped my business so much from both the financial aspect to like the, you know, even if you look at the trajectory of clients and income, it’s just. astronomical and like I know we talk about, not we, but some coaches talk about like the quarter four drought or whatever and I’m like I’m not buying into that.

Oh no. I might do, I, not, not even, I’m gonna do 10k. Yeah, [00:20:00] yeah right. Some people talk about like, oh you know, like it’s Christmas and it’s Thanksgiving, people are winding down, but I’m like I’m gonna earn my 10k this month. Yes you are. Or this year rather. And I’m like out here already on that trajectory given How great things have been, even the past, I mean year, but really with the financials the past three, four weeks, right?

Like it’s gonna happen. You know what’s funny? I always have my biggest quarter, last quarter of the year. That’s so interesting, yeah, it’s so interesting. I’ve heard so many coaches and just people say like, oh, you know. Christmas and stuff. People are winding down for the year and then January, everyone’s all on their goals and stuff.

So, I mean, there’s no bad quarters in the money manifestation movement, right? We all just embrace all of it and we just manifest all year round and it just always works out. Maybe again, not on the timeline that we thought it would like you teach us and not in the way that we Thought it would but it all works out.

I just want to touch on that too because there’s so many things I’ve manifested this year [00:21:00] That I could not have even conceived of last year and I really owe that to this work like being on a top rated podcast with one of my mentors and like getting all these opportunities that I couldn’t have planned for and this is where a lot of entrepreneurs get really hung up is like they think they have to plan everything.

But what I would offer anyone listening and anyone who hears this is this idea of think of what you’ve even created in the past month. Could you have planned for that like a year ago, two years ago, five years ago? Probably not, even if you’re not necessarily doing the manifestation work, it’s really hard to like predict the end result.

It’s going to come to you. Especially when you do this work, just in a way that’s a little bit different than what you maybe thought. So true. When you get into the energy of abundance. Things just start coming like and I always like to think of it. I think I learned this from Mike Dooley Which is that the universe knows what you really want and knows [00:22:00] your highest desires You don’t even necessarily have to claim everything that you want like the universe knows What you want the most and when you’re a match for it when you get into that energy of abundance Things just start showing up, and I had that same experience, Zane.

Like, I remember my first 100k year. It looked so different than I thought. But it was like, so much more amazing. Things that I could have never planned. Never. Never. But I just stayed in the belief of it. And I stayed in the energy of it. And I wasn’t, like, I had to let go of attachment. I’m not saying I wasn’t attached initially.

I was. But I got, as I let go of the attachment, like, Just like you it’s like things just kept coming in and it has been amazing and that’s how it works And that’s why all these incredible opportunities are coming for you because you’re in the energy and I feel it from you all the time It’s so fun. Yes.

Thank you It is the most [00:23:00] fun because honestly any part of the manifestation process can be challenging if you’re not actively doing the work or if you’re manifesting in like a lukewarm way or in a negative way because of course as you’re As you don’t have the results, it’s going to be so challenging if you’re not in the belief.

This is why there’s that stat of like, 1 out of every 10 startups fail. I kid you not, that number would be like, if everyone did this work, it would be 10 succeed. Because… It’s about being as you’re saying in the energetic match of knowing that even when the results aren’t Materializing themselves right then and there even when the plan you put so much heart into Did not pan out in the way that you wanted to you still have the opportunity to maintain The belief that everything will work out.

And again, it’ll work out in a way that you could not have planned for it. Yeah. I don’t even plan that much these days. I’m just like letting it all happen. Like planning is so last year, you know, of course it’s fun to plan at some level, but I’m also [00:24:00] just like, put it out there and let it come. And, and again, that’s not even in like a, a way that doesn’t make sense or in a way that.

Lacks conscientiousness. It’s like you really get into the belief and when you’re in the belief you take action Yeah for your business that is aligned with that which creates a result, right? So it is logical in so many ways and I just I just love this work. It’s the best Oh good. I have to ask you a quick question before we dive into friendships because I’m noticing that I’ve been doing interviews for the podcast and you know, all my clients are like, yeah, I became an energetic match.

And I’m thinking these listeners are probably like, what in the world are y’all talking about with becoming an energetic match? Right? Like we all know we have kind of this language now, um, in the money manifestation movement and in my mastermind, that’s kind of how we refer to it. But in your words, what would you say that is for you becoming an energetic match?

Yeah, it’s really having a good relationship with the result of [00:25:00] creating money and I don’t even that can sound vague. So I’ll explain further. It’s like when you think about your future and your past and where you currently are with money. Do you feel good in your body? Does it feel aligned? Or does it feel a little bit resistant?

Or do you have Thoughts like how I had, like, where it’s like, Oh, I have never been someone who has created money in the past. And again, that hasn’t been true as we kind of explored, right. I had that position when I was 17, right. Even if I didn’t recognize it at the time, when you think of your current financial life and your current business, how do you feel?

Is it kind of graspy? Is it kind of like, I’ll be happy when I get there. That isn’t an energetic match because you’re literally saying you’re mismatched with the result versus, and again, for your future, it’s like. Better there than here. That version of me is going to be so much better and happier when, and I just want to share this, my brother was telling me about, um, a lot of professional athletes and how they actually fall in, some of them fall into deep depression when they earn that, you know, that final, I don’t watch a lot [00:26:00] of sports, the, the gold cup, the Stanley cup, the rings, whatever, whatever it is.

And it’s because they were so attached to the outcome. But then when they got the outcome, they were like, wait, I was supposed to be so happy. Now it’s because they weren’t in an energetic match. Yeah. What it means is. When you really think about your goals and where you are and where you’ve been Do you feel aligned and good in your body?

Do you feel like it’s something that you get to create without attachment and with excitement and with joy? Like when you sit down to work on your business, how does it feel for you when you think about? All of the people you’re gonna help or all of the money you’re gonna create for yourself. It should feel I guess at its core it should just feel good for you I think there are more layers to it But that’s kind of how I would describe an energetic match is like when I think of all the money i’ve had I do have and will have it just feels amazing in my body at all times.

Yes Wow, such a good explanation. Thank you so much that yeah, it’s [00:27:00] that’s that’s it right and like you said similar with sports, but it’s also with like I would think of money like lottery winners, right? People who win the lottery who are not an energetic match to that amount of money. That’s why majority of lottery winners end up spending it all and more within like the first two years.

Right? You look at stats. They weren’t an energetic match to it. They weren’t comfortable with it. So yeah, that’s so good. Thank you for explaining that because I realized I was like, I wonder if listeners are wondering what we are talking about here. Yes, because we have this really beautiful Full verbiage and language that just makes sense to us.

But then I’m like, wait a minute. Not everyone is there yet. They will be once we do our work and spread right, spread this to everyone on the planet, everyone will understand the language. But for now, we gotta clarify just in case the podcast is in its infancy. , yes. For now. Yeah. Okay, Zane, let’s talk about friendships.

I want to get all of your thoughts, [00:28:00] everything in your brain out, like all of your beautiful thoughts about friendship and how to create them. I personally have noticed such a massive difference in my life as I have created aligned friendships. And I actually, I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but this was actually right before I started coaching.

Whenever I first started getting into it a little bit, I remember it was like whenever I was working retail, and I had a bunch of friends from, you know, my retail job, which were awesome, but a lot of the things that they liked to do were drink and, Like just things that I no longer, I was like, I, I really want to move out of that.

I quit drinking. I just didn’t feel like that felt like a match anymore. So I suddenly felt like I had no friends, right? Like, I just felt like I was in this space where I was like, I mean, they’re still my friends, but it wasn’t like I was hanging out with them a lot. I kind of felt lonely. And I remember on new year’s Eve, this was probably like 10 years ago or.[00:29:00] 

And I remember setting the intention, like, I really want to make soulful, aligned friendships. And it was this strong intention that I set soon after I decided to go on a retreat with a coach. It was like my first coaching experience. And funny enough, I made like, Who are now some of my best friends of all time.

They came from that one retreat, right? So like, And it makes such a difference. I think as an entrepreneur to have other business besties too, because this Career can be kind of lonely, especially if you do everything online, right? We’re like mostly alone besides when we’re connecting with clients. And it’s a wild ride.

It’s a journey. So I think having friends makes all the difference. And so I would love to hear from you. What? Like if somebody’s in that place where they don’t feel like they’re totally aligned with the people around them or maybe they’re getting into manifestation and we know the [00:30:00] power of like the people that we surround ourselves with and if people want like Other people that resonate with this work and are dreamers and want to dream and believe big like them.

What are some of your suggestions for creating friendships? Yeah, first of all, I’ll just say I can totally relate to the community aspect of this work and coaching. I’m so glad that Manifestation in the Universe lets us have it all, but if I had to choose between like my certification, the business, and the community of lifelong friends I’ve created, I would choose the friends 10 times out of 10.

And again, love that I can have it all. But my biggest suggestion, it starts with what you said. Like having the intention of saying, right now I feel lonely in my body. I want to create more aligned friends who are More like me who have similar values and interests and hobbies So many of us are afraid to have that intention because we think well, can I really have [00:31:00] that?

It’s like prior to doing doing this work I would say can I really have friends who are into taylor swift who are in like a you know 50 kilometer radius can I really have that and the answer is always yes if you are out there Wanting to create friends who are like you Odds are there’s someone at least one person who also has that same intention So I think letting yourself be intentional when it comes to friendships is such a huge aspect of it We’re so intentional especially as entrepreneurs in our businesses and then even with like romantic relationships.

There’s almost this intentionality discrepancy between Friendships and relationships or you know We’ll download all the apps and do all the things and read all the magazines to find the perfect partner yet when it comes to friendships we For whatever reason maybe have self limiting beliefs that we’re not willing to put in that level of effort or intentionality so I think intention is one huge thing and also recognizing that like There are other people just like you out there.

I did a post on this [00:32:00] recently where it’s like the burden or the, not even the burden, but the effort you get to put in when it comes to making friends is not just yours to bear. It’s being shared by the other person or the other group of people who get to, experience you when you put yourself out there.

I think another thing is being able to be realistic and understand that, yes, negative emotion will come up. You know, even though friendships is kind of a warm and fuzzy topic, you might have to face some rejection. I still do. And even knowing this work inside and out, I get people rolling their eyes at me occasionally when I’m Talking to them or complimenting them on their nails or something super innocent, but because of this work it’s like you learn how to process that and you learn how to Recognize that all of the things you’ve created in your life has come from a level of experiencing some negative emotion, right?

So yeah, I think experiencing negative emotion and understanding that It is part of the process, but it’s so worth it and it really [00:33:00] makes you so resilient and strong is also another aspect. And I think a third thing is like the social anxiety piece that a lot of people struggle with. I think recognizing from a more scientific standpoint that there are evolutionary underpinnings for that.

You know, we don’t. When we were cave people, we didn’t ever want to be rejected because that meant death. If you were rejected from a group of people, that literally meant we would die. And we still have that programming. So for me, that creates a sense of compassion and self compassion, where it’s like, a lot of this is my brain’s hardwiring.

So like, even if you’re an entrepreneur going to like a networking event, for example, it’s like, Know that everyone there has a level of social anxiety Maybe they’ve worked on it and developed the skills to manage it, but it’s not something that just goes away, right? It’s just we all learn how to manage it you talk to any world renowned public speaker None of them will say, I don’t experience stage fright.

They say, yeah, I get [00:34:00] nervous when I get up there, but I know how to manage it. And I know that my vision for delivering an amazing speech is greater than the anxiety I feel. I know that my desire to create lifelong friends is greater than the social anxiety I’m going to experience going to a meetup group with new people.

So good. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yes. I love that. And you touched on something that I never really realized, which is that, yeah, just socially, I guess we weren’t taught that you, you’re getting like any relationship, there needs to be a level of effort put into it. And I don’t think that’s taught in terms of friendships.

Like we expect that we should just have them. And if we don’t, there’s something wrong with us. Right. But really it’s like, what if we did put that same level of intention and effort into friendships as we do? Dating online or whatever it is. It’s huge. And as you say that I’m like, yeah that year I did put that intention in [00:35:00] I started saying yes to social things I said yes to a retreat and a big part of that retreat was I want to meet new people, right?

So that’s huge and I love that and also yeah, like I also love it’s like that knowing that Like social anxiety is normal. Everyone has it and to have learn how to regulate it and have compassion for yourself It’s huge. It’s huge. Yeah, there’s nothing I can’t learn when it comes to friendships I have stacks of books on friendships right here and it’s so interesting It’s becoming this new thing where there are books on it right where you can learn about friendships You can learn about social anxiety so to anyone listening who struggles with this just please know that you are not alone and that You can learn how to manage anything that you are struggling with, and that you have so many unique gifts when it comes to friendships that you may not even have given yourself the opportunity to tap into yet.

And yeah, I think when it comes to friendships, a big reason why we [00:36:00] don’t have that intention is because a lot of us went to public school, right? Where just the, like, the idea of proximity and consistently and familiarity, that will make you like someone and that will create friendships for you. Even when there’s no intentionality behind it.

One of my mentors talks about this a lot, where it’s like, just seeing someone every day, you’re more likely to actually create a friendship with them than if you have the shared values, right? Yes. So, but then we become adults, right, where it’s like, okay, we may not be going to school, we may not be seeing someone every day, or seeing a group of people every day.

That’s when there’s this huge gap, this discrepancy, that we have the opportunity to work on, and that’s… As you say, our opportunity or our call to growth, right? So it’s such beautiful work and it ties in so well to manifestation. Yeah. Because it’s like, you want to be an energetic match to those friends too.

My number one teaching, I tell all my clients, prospective clients, podcast listeners, [00:37:00] if I could leave you with one thing, it’s that You don’t want to be like a light version of yourself. You don’t want to dim your light or be a dulled down version of yourself in order to make the friends you think will like you.

You want to become more of yourself. You want to let the effervescence out, let the awkwardness out, let the nerdiness out, because then you’ll be matched with the right friends. Because you’re short term. Yes. Maybe you can say, Yeah, if I put on this facade and pretend to be someone who I’m not, then yeah, I might make certain friends who I thought I wanted to make, but it’ll always come down.

And, you know, the universe is always working for us. So it’ll teach you that, you know, you can’t put up this facade just to make friends that you thought you may have wanted. Let’s go back to who you really want to be, right? So, yeah, that’s my number one teaching is, you want to be more of yourself to make the friends that are aligned for you, not less of yourself.

Totally, because then they’re going to be like, real friends, versus like, oh, they [00:38:00] were attracted to this doledown version of me, now I have to act that way, or if I’m my true self, they’re not going to like me. And I think that teaching, I mean, that applies for so many things, right? It, for, for, Um, romantic relationships for business.

Like, are you trying to be someone you’re not? Right? Like, what if the more you, you are in business? The more you’re going to attract aligned clients, too. That’s such a good teaching and I think, yeah, it, it, game changer. So good. I didn’t even think of how it showed up with my clients, but yeah, the ones that I have now are such an energetic match.

So I’m so glad you made that connection because. Gosh, you know, of course, we always have love for our clients when we sign them on. But there’s something about the clients I’ve had recently. They’re just so energetically aligned, and they’re all different too, right? Which speaks to the friendship aspects too, where it’s like, it doesn’t mean you’re all the same, but it just means you all have these values that can complement each other and can fit together like a puzzle.

And I just think… That’s [00:39:00] so beautiful and it’s such a testament again to this work because we can manifest anything including Very specific friendships like taylor swift friends like friends who like specific songs like it’s just so great You gotta manifest taylor swift as your friend. I know that would be next level manifestation.

I love it Oh, I could do it. So good zane. Oh my god Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your journey. It’s So inspiring. So where can people find you and connect with you? Share all points. Yes. So my website is ZaneConCoaching. com. So my first name, my last name, coaching. com. I assume you’ll have that in your show notes.

And then I’m Friendship Coach, Zane. pretty much everywhere else. I have a podcast called Making Friends Made Simple, which I just love so much. It’s super fun to just chat about friendships and, and all the things related to it. So, yeah, thank you so much for [00:40:00] having me. It’s such an honor to be able to now be a steward of this work too, right?

Yeah. It’s like, first it’s friendships, now it’s money manifestation and business, and I just, I can’t wait to see where we go from here. That’s right. Thank you so much, Zane. Appreciate it. Yes, thank you.