The way we respond to an overeat makes all the difference. One type of response perpetuates the pattern, while the other helps us overcome it.
What happens for you after an overeat? Do you wake up the next morning and say things like:
“I’m never going to get this!”
“I’m such a failure.”
“I’m never going to lose this weight!”
“Ugh, I ALWAYS screw up.”
If so, keep reading!
Beating ourselves up is one of the most detrimental things we can do. Not only does it make us feel awful, but it keeps us stuck. It prevents us from losing weight, drives our overeating, and keeps us playing small in our lives.
So why do we do it? Why does our brain offer us such negative thoughts about ourselves?
We beat ourselves up because our brain thinks it’s motivating. It thinks it’s keeping us in line. It thinks it’s protecting us.
We think if we call ourselves a failure, it’ll motivate us to take a new action next time.
We think that if we call ourselves fat and gross, it’ll motivate us to decline the chocolate cake later that evening.
But the opposite is true.
Thinking hurtful, negative things about ourselves is what DRIVES us to overeat.
How do we know this? Consider the THINK-FEEL-ACT cycle (the model)
When we think negative thoughts about ourselves, we feel negative emotions. When we feel negative emotions, we take negative actions (i.e. overeating)….and it becomes a perpetual cycle that keeps us stuck.
So how do we stop? The pattern feels so ingrained, you might think.
But here’s the thing. We weren’t born with this pattern. We learned it through conditioning. Maybe from our parents, from the media…somewhere along the way we learned that this is how we motivate ourselves.
Now that we know it doesn’t work, it’s time to learn a new approach, which we can totally do when we put our minds to it.
Here is a 3 step process that will help you stop beating yourself up after an overeat:
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- Catch it! Notice when you’re beating yourself up.
- Let it be. Do NOT try and push it away or hate on it. Remeber, what we resist, persists. So just notice it. Imagine you’re floating above your mind looking down on it, watching your brain do what it does best-which is “thinking.”
- Shift the negative self-talk by moving into curiosity about the overeat.
*NOTE: Curiosity is a desire to know or learn something. You want to learn more about yourself why you overeat. This is the ONLY way to actually change the pattern. We cannot get curious from a place of negativity. We have to decide the overeat is neutral and ok, and that it has something to teach us about ourselves.
After the overeat, you can ask yourself questions like:
I wonder why I overate last night?
What was I feeling right before?
Was I conscious of my decision at the moment?
When exactly did the urge start?
What thought did I think that permitted me to eat off plan?
Why did I give in last night but not the night before?
If this situation happens again, how might I react differently next time?
What did this teach me?
If you take these 3 steps every time you have an overeat, I guarantee you will learn how to stop overeating.
It’s the BEST way to get out of the shame spiral. The shame spiral will just keep us stuck doing the same thing over and over and over.
You’ve got this my love!
In health & happiness,
Jamie
Ready to stop the negative self-talk and make lasting mindset changes that allow you to lose weight for the VERY LAST TIME? If you want to invest in yourself and your mindset so that you never have to google “How do you lose weight with PCOS?” again, sign up for a strategy call below to learn more about my program.
