In spite of popular belief, losing weight does not make you more confident.
Confidence is a feeling, and all of our feelings come from our thoughts.
So having positive thoughts about ourselves is what brings confidence.
It can never come from external things (like a thin body, lots of money, or a nice car.) WHAAAT? Yup, it’s true.
Think about it, not every thin person in the world is confident, right?
Here’s the good news though… you don’t need anything more or different in order to be confident. You can have confidence RIGHT NOW, no matter what size jeans you’re in.
You just have to be willing to let go of those nasty thoughts about yourself and think differently.
I learned this one the hard way. For most of my life, I thought that I’d be happy and confident once I lost weight. I’m not going to lie, there was certainly a part of me that thought all of my problems would go away once I was thin.
And then…I lost 50 pounds within a span of a year. I went to an endocrinologist in my 20’s who prescribed me Phentermine for my PCOS and weight struggles. This is a stimulant similar to an amphetamine, which completely takes away your appetite and gives you a massive amount of energy. I thought it was the answer to all of my problems and was more than happy to take it (at that time).
That year, in fact, within 6 months I lost about 50 pounds. I was so happy about losing the weight, feeling like I finally found the solution. The only problem was, my doctor wouldn’t prescribe it for more than six months because well…it’s a drug, and it can be addicting, and it is NOT healthy.
Did I care? NO…I was losing weight and that was my main concern.
So after 6 months I stopped the medication and was the smallest size I had been since age 8. You would think I’d feel great about myself, and love the new body I was in, right?
But that was NOT the case.
I was in complete worry and fear. Fear of gaining the weight back since I didn’t have this magical pill anymore. Fear of food because of my fear of gaining weight.
I got into a super negative spiral, where all I cared about was staying thin. I didn’t once appreciate that body, I just became worried and fearful, and even more disconnected from my body.
What do you think happened? I gained the weight back. All 50 pounds, plus some.
I gained it back because I didn’t do the internal work that goes along with losing weight, I literally lost it by taking a magical pill (that wasn’t so magical).
I look back at that girl and feel sorry for how much emphasis she was putting on her size. She thought her self-worth was attached to being thin.
Believe me when I tell you, I was NOT more confident in that thin body.
It’s because the thoughts I had led to fear and worry.
The beautiful thing is, the pain I experienced from gaining that weight back, drove me to do a whole lot of personal development work around my body image.
I knew I gained it back because I had to learn to love the body I was in, which was not easy after gaining 50+ pounds.
But that work was some of the most powerful and transformative I’ve ever done. And here’s the interesting thing…
Once I learned to love my 206-pound body, I actually began to lose weight. That weight loss was coming from a place of love, not a lack of self-worth.
Weight loss coming from love is the kind of weight that you lose and keep off for good.
I encourage EVERYONE to do it! It’s the best gift you can give yourself, but in order to do it, you’ve got to let go of the misbelief that your size has anything to do with your self-worth. Once you believe it, this is where the magic really happens!
In health & happiness,
Jamie
