Stop Goal Setting & DO THIS Instead for Better Results!

[00:00:00] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: All right, my friend, stop setting goals and do this instead. Unless, of course, you are someone who sets goals and has a beautiful relationship with them and it’s totally working out for you. Which my hunch is, if that’s the case, you probably wouldn’t have clicked on this episode, right? Or maybe it’s worked for you, but you’re like, curious.

[00:00:22] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And maybe you can still set your goals, but maybe add in the piece that I am going to teach you about today. That’s really worked super well for me whenever I shifted my idea of goal setting into what I’m about to talk about today. It’s made all the difference for me. It’s also something I have witnessed working really, really well for my clients.

[00:00:47] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So I miss it. So excited to dive in. And here’s the thing. I think with the idea of goals, I am not hating on them. All right. I don’t think goals are bad. In fact, I really love the idea of a [00:01:00] goal because what a goal ultimately is, is a vision, right? It’s a vision for where you want to go. And I think it’s super important to create that clarity of where you want to go.

[00:01:13] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: The problem that I have with goals, which it’s not. The goal in and of itself, it’s the way that I think we’ve been kind of conditioned, we’re socialized to think about goals. And I do not believe that most people have a relationship with goal setting or with goals that works in a way that empowers them, that actually moves them forwards towards it faster.

[00:01:41] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: I think oftentimes people use goals as a way to beat themselves up, to see how far they have to go instead of how far they’ve come. I think they use these goals against themselves and use it as evidence of how they’re a failure and how they’re a failure over and [00:02:00] over and over. That’s toxic. That is not helpful.

[00:02:03] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: That is not how we want to create. So that is why I want to encourage you to develop a new relationship with creation with still having a vision for yourself Still knowing where you want to go. Cause again, if you like write down where you want to go and the things that you want to manifest and the things that you want to create, the chances of them happening go way up.

[00:02:30] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So I do, again, I know the importance of having a vision, but what I want to talk about here today in this episode is. The process of how we relate to that vision, how we relate to the unfoldment of it, how we relate to ourselves growing into that vision. That is what matters. And sometimes I think when we have goals, we just keep setting the same goal and it doesn’t happen.

[00:02:59] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Then we think [00:03:00] I’m a failure. We say, Said it again. It doesn’t happen. I’m a failure. And we just, again, like I said, we use it against ourselves and I’m curious if that resonates with you. ’cause I know I’ve coached a lot of people who are like, I don’t even wanna set goals anymore. Like, it feels terrible.

[00:03:13] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And then others who are setting them month after month after month and are constantly disappointed and are creating this narrative of themselves as I’m someone who doesn’t achieve my goals. So here is an offering is I would consider you reinvent the way you hold your goals or your visions, right? Or your manifestations, what it is you want to create.

[00:03:39] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And here is how I would recommend holding it or test this out for yourself. See how it feels for you. Because again, this has all the answers. So the way that I like to set a vision or it’s instead of I would say goal setting, how I do it is I think [00:04:00] about the vision that I have for my life or the vision of what I want to become, what do I want to become a match to next?

[00:04:10] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: What feels aligned for me? What do I want to grow into? Right? And whether that is in my personal life or. business or financially, I absolutely still have that vision, but I don’t think of it like this is my goal. Right. Just because of how we, I’ve been like society, societally conditioned to think about goals like that word doesn’t.

[00:04:33] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Resonate so hard for me, but thinking of it as a vision that I’m casting out something that’s already in my future, right? It’s already in my vortex. It’s a vision of my future. And right now my opportunity Is to grow into that version of me grow into the person who is an energetic match to that Right.

[00:04:58] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So for example, [00:05:00] let me share a personal example with you So whenever I created a, my first ever kind of group program, whenever I moved from one on one into group coaching, I realized that one of the ways to enroll clients in is to launch, right? It’s to get good at launching, which means you’re basically, Going through, you know, different periods of time where you’re launching your program.

[00:05:27] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And you’re bringing lots of people in at once. Right? So I decided I wanted to get really good at launching because I wanted a big group program. I love community. I love serving in that way. So that was who I wanted to become. So I think in the past, the way that I used to hold goals is I would have just said, Oh, I want to do a launch and I want to be successful at it.

[00:05:50] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Right. My goal would have been, you know, I want to get 30 people into this first launch. Right. But. I knew after doing this work [00:06:00] for quite some time that the best way for me to grow into the next evolution of myself as someone who is really good at launching is to practice it over and over to become someone who’s good at launching.

[00:06:16] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And I knew the first launch I was going to do probably wasn’t going to be my best launch I’ve ever done. Maybe it would. Maybe it’d be awesome. Maybe I’d exceed my goals and I have done that many times, right? We’re like. Oh, I’m surprised by this. I’m actually better at it than I thought, but what’s been super helpful is thinking about it.

[00:06:33] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Like I thought about it and I was like, I’m going to give myself a full year to get really good at launching. So instead of thinking of it, I was like. I guess it is a goal, but it’s the way I think about it that’s helpful. It’s the vision. And my vision is I want to be that person who’s so good at launching, right?

[00:06:51] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So I gave myself a full year to do this. And what I did in that year was I launched nine. different times. And with [00:07:00] every launch that I did, the intention was to continue getting better at launching. So it wasn’t like, Oh, I have this goal and I have to hit this another number, or that means something about me.

[00:07:12] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: It was more like, okay, I still might’ve set intentions for what kind of numbers I’d want to hit and things like that. But I didn’t make that mean anything. If I hit it amazing, let’s celebrate. If I didn’t, okay, let’s learn from it. Right. And the focus was this year I’m becoming someone who’s good at launching.

[00:07:30] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: I don’t have to start off being that person. I can suck at it at the beginning, but I’m going to keep growing into it. So with every launch I did a, what worked, what didn’t work, what would I do differently? How am I going to shift things? And I would make little tweaks, right? I would say, okay, next launch.

[00:07:47] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Let’s tweak this. Let’s try this differently. Oh, this launch. Oh, this name of this didn’t land this time. Let’s not use that name again. And I was just consistently getting curious. What’s working? What’s working? [00:08:00] What’s working? What do people resonate with? What do I enjoy? What feels most natural to me, right?

[00:08:06] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And I was finding alignment with that version of me who is really good at launching. So that’s how I held it. So you could, you know, I guess think of it as a quote unquote goal, but it’s all about the way I held it. It was a vision that I had for who I wanted to become, and it was the process of becoming that person.

[00:08:26] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Right? And that is what you can do if you want to goal set is just let yourself become that person. Now, the other thing with it is I don’t set tight timelines. I set intentions for how long I would like this to be or when I would like it to happen. Right? Like I said, I set a goal that I want to get good at launching within that year.

[00:08:52] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: But if I still sucked at launching, I would just keep going because what I do is I just think about the vision of who I’m becoming. I’m like, [00:09:00] Oh, I’m stepping into that person who’s good at launching. So let me just keep going until I get there. Right. And so that is how I started holding it differently.

[00:09:09] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: It wasn’t like I have to hit it in this timeframe or I suck. It’s more like, Hey, let’s just keep learning and growing and putting the puzzle pieces together until the puzzle. is together, right? And the puzzle’s never together. There’s always the next evolution or sometimes the puzzle, I guess, gets put together and then we’re like, I’m ready for a new puzzle, right?

[00:09:33] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: I’ve been working on that one and I saw it happening and I’m kind of bored with it. So let’s create a new puzzle, right? So that’s how you want to think about it is just keep putting the puzzle pieces together. Keep moving forward, keep taking action, keep evaluating until you become the best. That person, right?

[00:09:52] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: What would be different if you held your visions that way, if you held your manifestations in that light, [00:10:00] is that you’re on the process of becoming an energetic match to it, which means you’re becoming the person who thinks like the version of you that has it, who acts like the version of you who has it, who shows up with habits of the version of you and you.

[00:10:14] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: That is a process of growing into that person sometimes, right? And so I think we need to give ourselves grace in that process. 

[00:10:23] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Now I want to share with you another example and how I actually got inspired to create this episode is because. I am so inspired by witnessing my husband’s journey, which if you didn’t listen to our podcast episodes together, I highly recommend. They’re a little ways back, but I have three episodes with my husband, Josh.

[00:10:45] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And in the episodes, we talked about how he made this really courageous decision. career pivot, right? He was a, previously he was a hit songwriter. He still does songwriting, but I would say his main focus [00:11:00] now has become being an artist, and he decided he wanted to become a neoclassical artist. Musician and composer,

[00:11:08] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: he’s writing all the music, he’s hiring an orchestrator, he’s getting people to play on his albums, it’s amazing, he had this vision that happened kind of through the pandemic of where he realized he, didn’t want to just write songs for other people anymore. He wanted to write songs that he felt called to share.

[00:11:25] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And then he wanted to come through him. And so this journey has been so inspiring because I witnessed how he held it. And it really was And I’m going to call it a vision. And watching him become this person, become this artist. So initially when he decided that. He wanted to do this and make this pivot.

[00:11:54] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: He thought, Oh, I need a record deal. Right. Let me meet up with either like record deals. He met [00:12:00] up with agents who do like, they’re agents for film composers. So he started taking meetings and he was like, Hey guys at the meetings, you know, I’ve been a very successful songwriter for X amount of years.

[00:12:14] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: I’m so excited to move into this. It’s so exciting. I’ve been, you know, studying piano and classical music since that was six years. Old and it’s a big calling of mine and this is my vision and you know what every one of those meetings said to him They said yeah, well come back in a couple years whenever you have like done some of this They were like we get it.

[00:12:36] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: You’ve been successful, but like Yeah. There’s no proof that you can do this, right? And so basically what they were saying is you’re not yet an energetic match to the person we’re going to sign or that we’re ready to sign. And for him, of course it was disappointing. He wanted to get a deal and just have it, you know, take off.

[00:12:54] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: But what I was so inspired by is that he, I just watched his brain. He was like, I’m going to just become [00:13:00] it. And he goes, I am going to make it inevitable. I am going to become the artist that they can’t. Not sign. I am going to become inevitable to these record labels and what I’m hearing is you are like he was saying in my language, he’s becoming an energetic match to the person who gets signed by a major record label and I witnessed this you guys for the past two weeks.

[00:13:28] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Several years, like three years where he has been in this becoming process and he has not gotten stuck on timelines. He’s, of course moved through some disappointment throughout that where there’s certain things that maybe he thought were gonna land but didn’t, but he gets back up and keeps. going. He’s been so committed to this vision and becoming this vision, right?

[00:13:52] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So that’s what the process over these past three years has been, is him becoming the vision step by step [00:14:00] by step, right? So he started out by just creating his own album and he created some piano albums and he started working with some smaller labels. to start, right? He created the album, then started pitching it so that he got picked up by some smaller labels.

[00:14:15] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Put that out there. He’s like, if I want a major label, I have to get streams out there like they want someone who has something proven, right? It reminds me of shark tank. They don’t want to invest in someone that hasn’t proven the concept here. First, and that’s how these major record labels are. They don’t want someone who hasn’t proven themselves yet.

[00:14:35] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So Josh is like, I got to get some numbers up on Spotify. I got to get numbers on Apple music. So he just started putting out music and putting out music and teaming up with Smaller labels that were absolutely wonderful and really helped him get his work out in the world. And he said, you know, if I’m an energetic match to a major label, guess what?

[00:14:56] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: I have an online presence. And he was someone y’all who like. [00:15:00] Is a millennial who did not have Facebook. He did not have Instagram. He was not on social media. He was an, he’s an, I always tell him he’s like an old school millennial. Right. I always say like, you’re like a baby boomer, but a millennial, cause that’s how he is like up until.

[00:15:16] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: This year, y’all, we have had a landline, which I always joke, like, I’m always like, Josh, like, what generation did you grow up in? He, like, loved having a landline, which I think is hilarious because most people don’t have landlines anymore. Anyways, I’m going on a tangent, but you get the idea. He didn’t have social media, wasn’t into it at all, but he was like, you know, if I’m going to become an energetic match to a major label, I have a social presence.

[00:15:44] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And you know what? The more people I have following me, the better, because that’s going to prove to them that I can sell out tours and things like that. So he’s been super committed and said, you know, I’m going to post a video every single week. I’ll just post piano [00:16:00] videos on social and then just committed to building his following.

[00:16:04] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: My goodness. It’s been just a couple years now. I think he’s been doing this like he’s been committed to this for two years. And now between Tik Tok and Instagram, I think he has like 50, 000 followers between the two, if not more. It’s amazing. He’s been boosting his posts. It’s been working. And he has literally, it’s so fun to like share this with you now because he is on the precipice of getting a major label.

[00:16:31] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Like he’s finishing up his 16 piece album right now as we speak. He’s right downstairs mixing this thing with his best friend who mixes it with him and he’s about to launch it in a month, right? He’s getting the website for it already. He’s like, I am doing everything possible. So they would be. So dumb to reject me, right?

[00:16:54] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: He’s like, I want to be that person where they’re actually like fighting over a deal where [00:17:00] everyone’s saying yes to it. And he has become that right. And I witnessed this, like he has self funded. Between the two of us, we have self funded this 16 piece album, right? Because he’s like, hey, you know what? I’m going to show them.

[00:17:16] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Like, if they don’t want to fund it, I’ll fund it. And then we’re gonna, you know, negotiate that kind of stuff. So. Really amazing to have witnessed this. And that’s what inspired this episode because it’s not like he just had a goal that he kept setting over and over and over and over. He was more committed to who am I becoming?

[00:17:35] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: How am I becoming this? Right. And that’s how I approach my business too. It’s like, if I want to grow in a certain area, how am I becoming the person who naturally has that growth? Right. We’re like, that’s just what happens because of the person that I am. being. So I want to throw this out to you and I want to offer that you reflect on this idea.[00:18:00] 

[00:18:00] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: What if instead of just setting monthly goals, what if you decided what you wanted to create, what the vision is for yourself and why you have that vision, right? We, we want to have kind of a, a why behind it because we got to be led by it. It has to feel inspiring and make sure it feels right to you. And It’s actually your soul’s vision, checking on that.

[00:18:23] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And when you have it, ask yourself, what do I need to do to become that? Who is the person who has that thing? And what’s really beautiful about doing it in this way is that when you get it, You don’t lose it because guess what? You’re a vibrational match to it. You’ve become that person, right? And I love what Michael Beckwith says.

[00:18:49] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: He’s one of my favorite manifestation teachers. Love him so much. He says, you cannot have what you are not A match to vibrationally, [00:19:00] right? So if you want something, you must become it vibrationally. And I know that word is super woo woo. Like what does that mean? Vibrationally? But I will tell you how I understand that because thoughts have vibrations.

[00:19:13] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Beliefs have vibrations, feelings have vibrations, the actions that we take or don’t take have vibrations. Are the vibrations of the way that you’re thinking, feeling, acting, the habits that you’re showing up doing each day, are those vibrationally a match to that person you want to be? To that which you want to have?

[00:19:42] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And if not, it’s just an opportunity to day after day, get closer and closer to that, move more and more into alignment with that. And again, it doesn’t have to happen overnight. Like I said, Josh has taken three years to become this. And there’s been many [00:20:00] evolutions along the way. First, he became the person who put out an album, right?

[00:20:03] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Then he became the person who, Is on social media and has a presence and is visible, right? So there was so many evolutions to it, but I know what’s so fun is he’s on the precipice of getting this major label because he has done this process of becoming famous. That person had just been committed to the vision instead of like, I imagine if his only goal was, let me just get a record label and he just kept taking meetings and kept taking meetings and kept taking meetings, but he wasn’t changing internally.

[00:20:36] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: He would just be disappointed over and he’d be like, Oh, I’m just someone who doesn’t reach their goals. It’s like, no, don’t approach it that way. Approach it in a way of becoming. And becoming is one of my foundational concepts inside of my soulful manifestation process. So if you learn manifestation from me, you will see that that is a [00:21:00] foundational practice that will make all the difference.

[00:21:04] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: So you have to ask yourself, am I becoming that person? And I want to go back to that concept that I touched on where I said, if you become that person, you won’t lose it. And here’s what I mean by that is if you think about people who just suddenly like, they Manifest their desires out of nowhere, like in an extreme way.

[00:21:27] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: For example, someone who wins the lottery, right? And they win millions of dollars in the lottery, but they don’t know how to look at their money. They don’t know how to manage their money. They don’t know what the emotion of abundance is, right? They are in scarcity and maybe like they don’t have a purpose or a, they’re not a match with.

[00:21:49] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: You know, a high net worth, they will end up spending all that money or losing all that money. Why did they lose it? Even though they called it in, they created [00:22:00] it, they lost it because they hadn’t become the millionaire. Right? They hadn’t become that person yet. And that’s not to scare you if you’re someone who like, Manifest something really fast or if you’re someone who wins the lottery because you can decide Consciously.

[00:22:16] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Oh my gosh. I won this I want to learn how to become a millionaire and you can do that like while you have it, right? This is what quantum leaps are about I’ve had many clients who have had quantum leaps and it’s interesting because they just have to do the work along with having it Right, but you can’t have the thing and be your old self Because you won’t keep the thing, right?

[00:22:37] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: Be your old self who wasn’t a match to the thing. And that’s what I mean. So for example, even if like, I’ll give the example even with my husband, Josh. If he got a record deal, but he wasn’t a match for that, maybe it wouldn’t be successful. It wouldn’t take off. He wasn’t quite ready for it. Maybe they would have dropped him, right?

[00:22:56] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: That’s an example of not actually becoming the [00:23:00] person, not being a vibrational match to it. So that’s why we want things to happen when we’re ready for them. And we want to prepare ourselves and get ready. So I want to propose this to you. I want you to think about what it is you are calling in. Right?

[00:23:17] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And I want you to think about how can you take one step towards becoming that person. So let’s say you want to have consistent, I’m throwing out a number, 8K months. Now you might be saying, Jamie, I want to have consistent 800K months, right? Everyone who listens to this. is in a different place financially, right?

[00:23:37] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And it doesn’t matter because the inner work around money works no matter where you are financially, right? This inner work applies. So whatever number it is that you want to think about monthly, let’s say, I’m just going to throw out 8k a month. Let’s say, because that’s, you know, after I want you to think about who you’d [00:24:00] have to become.

[00:24:01] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: You’d probably have to become someone who’s consistent at providing value. You’d probably have to become someone who doesn’t get in a tizzy if something doesn’t work or if it flops or if you put a post out and nobody resonates with it. Or if you put five posts out and no one resonates with it. You can’t get into a tizzy when You do a webinar and no one shows up.

[00:24:23] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: You got to keep moving forward, right? Because if you’re becoming a match to 8k months, you keep going.

[00:24:29] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: You’re probably someone who takes in information from your ideal clients. You listen, you observe, you’re always trying to tweak, right? You’re probably someone who is getting good at selling, who’s studying a little bit of sales and learning a little bit more about different techniques or ways that you can talk about things that resonates with your ideal people, right?

[00:24:52] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And you just keep fine tuning and assessing and keep being consistent. That is the person who is an energetic [00:25:00] match to 8K months, right? Versus if you just set an 8K a month goal, but you’re like, Oh my God, I didn’t hit it this month. I’m not doing anything. I’m tired. I’m not going to show up online. I’m not motivated.

[00:25:12] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And then you set the goal again, and then you don’t hit it again, and then you get upset, and then you create their story that you’re someone who doesn’t create your goals, right? That doesn’t work, my friend. So So I want to encourage you as you are manifesting to consider how are you growing into the person who has it?

[00:25:32] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: How are you evolving yourself into the person who’s becoming this? And that is really the work that I do with clients around money because many people want to manifest money and they want to have money, but they’re not yet an energetic match to wealth. So I love to help people become an energetic match to wealth.

[00:25:55] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: That is my favorite thing. It is my specialty. And what is someone who is a [00:26:00] match to wealth? There’s someone who looks at their money. There’s someone who doesn’t judge the money. There’s someone who celebrates money. There’s someone who takes pride in it. Probably steps into their power and takes credit for what they have created, right?

[00:26:16] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: They’re not giving away credit to everyone else and everything else. They’re stepping into their power, they’re acknowledging themselves, they’re celebrating themselves. This is someone who is an energetic match maker. to wealth, right? They think good thoughts about money. They think good thoughts about the future around money.

[00:26:35] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: They believe it’s possible. They decide on purpose what they want to create and they go after it, right? So this is your opportunity, my friend, and I’m excited to hear how this lands for you. As always, I’d love to connect with you on Instagram. My Name there is Jamie Berman underscore. So come [00:27:00] follow me if you are not yet.

[00:27:01] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: And I would love to hear how this episode landed for you. And if you’re feeling extra generous, you can leave a podcast review. That would mean the world to me. It helps this podcast just reach more people. And if you’re loving the content, it would just mean so much. If you could give back in that way.

[00:27:21] jamie–she-her-_1_02-14-2025_150515: All right, my loves I’ll see you next week.